For all the talk about Americans and our “rugged individualism” upon closer inspection it often seems hard to argue against the idea that in the United States conformity will win out over individuality more often than not.

Americans as hard-working and busy – woe unto the person who suggests a siesta in the middle of the work day or leisurely lunches like those the French enjoy.  Only recently has the metaphor of the “melting pot” in which immigrants were charged to speak English, let go of their cultural traditions and be generic Americans been replaced by the “salad bowl” idea where all are encouraged to retain their native colors and flavors for a delightfully diverse mix.

Even though “diversity” and “multiculturalism” are generally sure fire hits during rounds of “buzzword Bingo” in the corporate world, America still seems to be a place where individualism is “ok” (just as long as we make the effort to “fit in” and “be like everyone else.”)

This is never more apparent than when driving through nice, suburban neighborhoods in Anytown, USA.  From the similarly landscaped and manicured lawns to the coordinating exterior paint colors, the homes have that same kind of creepy sameness one might experience with identical twins who continue to dress alike even in advanced old age.

Check out high school and college yearbooks from any era and you’ll be struck by how the students’ dress, hairstyles and even first names reflect the popular fashions of the day.  It is not only young people who succumb to the desire to “look like everyone else” when it comes to hairstyles and fashion, however.

 When I first began working for an “Oh-so-conservative” insurance company some twenty-five years ago, the corporate uniform for both men and women was the blue suit (skirt and jacket for women), white shirt and tasteful tie for men and white or pastel colored bow-tie blouse for women.  A decade later, the company adopted “business casual” attire.  However, this seems to have evolved into only a slightly more relaxed “uniform” characterized mainly by Dockers™ slacks in various shades of khaki, navy blue or black and the timeless Oxford cloth, buttoned down collar shirt (pullover sweater optional in winter) or the classic Polo™ shirt.

Have you ever witnessed the odd looks or even outright hostility displayed towards the prematurely gray haired woman who decides not to visit her friendly neighborhood “colorist” on a regular basis?  Or how about women who choose not to wear make-up or jewelry, don’t like to go shopping or really and truly prefer to remain single?

Men aren’t exempt from the pressure to avoid being too much of an individual either.  In some organizations a man who doesn’t golf may find a number of avenues of career advancement inexplicably blocked.  And heaven forbid if a man doesn’t like sports!  I once dated a perfectly lovely man who had no interest whatsoever in the workings of the NFL, the NBA, the NHL, the PGA, NASCAR or the WWF.  Despite having a great job, possessing multiple talents in the area of home repairs, being a wonderful dad to his daughters, having a kind and caring heart and a great sense of humor many people looked at him as if he were some sort of dangerous alien once he confessed to being totally ignorant about sports. 

Even worse is the ridicule and discrimination often faced by stay-at-home dads who may be far more talented in the areas of childcare, cooking and other “domestic arts” yet are viewed by society as being less than “real men” because they don’t happen to leave the house to go to a “real job.”  The only groups even more maligned are perhaps homosexuals, transsexuals and heterosexual married couple who are childless by choice.  While none of these situations really have any impact on society at large, they folks are often the victims of severe social sanctions as a result of simply having strayed from the “norm.”

Perhaps even more peculiar is the pressure for “sameness” that occurs even within “diverse” groups.  I remember running headfirst into this phenomenon when I, as a young African-American from a predominantly white Indiana town went away to college.  While it was refreshing in one sense to experience no longer being the only person of color in my classes, it was disheartening to have other African-American students challenge my authenticity as a “sistah” because I genuinely enjoyed the Square Dancing class I took in order to fulfill my Physical Education credit or because my standard English and generic Midwestern accent earned me the labels of “talking proper” or worse yet “sounding white.”  

While I dreamed that this type of social regulation on individuality might have died out since my college days in the early 1980s, a recent article in Newsweek served to dash those hopes. The article describes the results of an academic study at the University of Illinois which suggested that self-segregation among African-American elementary school aged children led to increased popularity.  It seems that even in the 21st century, black students are still rewarded within their own culture for placing limits on their individuality.

E Pluribus Unum:  From Many Are One; as a nation we seem to have lived up to that motto pretty well, although I wonder if the resulting uniformity masquerading as individualism is really what those who coined that phrase really had in mind.