How to use Australian slang like a local.

Like a local! Well we are all local and have different ways of communicating English but if you are from overseas you probably have heard some strange colloquisms coming from “Down Under.”I think that with the mixture of Scots, Irish and English that started this country our language mellowed and became quite laid back and relaxed as is our environment. It’s rather like people taking an interest in the cockney language in England. In fact it is amusing when spoken by a broad Australian and has made Paul Hogan as well as Barry Humphries and Barry Crocker in his geat portrayel of Bazza McKenzie popular exponents of such.

Okay here’s how to use it like a local in ten easy steps.

1 Run your words together like a flowing stream. Instead of saying “It’s okay I’ll get down to the shops before five oclock”, the slang way of saying it would be.

“She’llbe apples cobber, I’ll getmeself down tha shops b’fre the ands on nthis ol her ticker of mine get to sun at five mate.”

2 Learn some phrases like: Stone the crows, beauty mate, she can wait till t’morrow, catch ya later, crikey bluey, she’ll be apples, no worries, put another prawn on the barbie, goin fishin, goin to the dunny, nice sheila, geeez man. I reckon,G’donya mate, you little ripper,you bewdy,av a go ya mug,no bull, bullshit,dont come the raw prawn wif me matey,take it easy, hoo roo,you little bottler,chock a block, your as bad as a kangaroo loose in the top paddock,howzatt mate, wanna grog?

3 Punctuate your speech with bloody, bastard and f…king.

4 Go to the docks and indusrial areas and hang out in a pub, you will pick up some slang.

5 Struth I nearly forgot to tell yas that you must say “hach” for ‘h.’

6 Dunno, watcha say? plenty of ‘yeahs’ and every second word ‘um, um’.

7 Make your pronunciation broad and real sloooooow.

8 Ow we goin cobber, nuff yet, oh yes talk loud and hold the foor and if you are interupted say, ‘ang on, ang on’

9 Go to the football, Aussie Rules of course, and abuse the umpire. If you dont know what to say you’ll soon kearn some slang.

10 All these things take time so the best way is to immigrate here and pickit up yourself. Watcha bloody well reckon you bastards, get off ya arses and paddle out to Ozland and start torking to a kangaroo or a koala or a local. Now f off bluey!Just found out this ere piece of writng was too bloody short, stone the crows what doya friggin well want a bloody sermon, get real you pack of sheep, i aint gonna tow the line like the rest of the world for I am a fair dinkum native of this ere sunburnt piece of dirt we live on. Gunna get me tinny a go fishin I’ve had this f….g writin caper, get real, get real, what cha thin i am, some dumbarse get off me back or i’ll bring ya down like a ton of bricks you bastard. Gimme anofer beer, gonna get well and truly pissed and then go home and beat the dog and then the wife and swear more slang and you know why? Cause im true blue and coarse but we are not all like that in Oz in fact some of us are refined like our pommy discoverers. I’m outer here sunshine.Outa me way!