In 30 days I will turn 50 years old. Many people I have spoken to regarding turning 50 have said that it was one of the hardest ages for them to get a grip on. What is age? Why do people dwell on aging and think of it as a downer?

Why does society think that age matters. I look at 50 as a year older than 49. What does 50 feel like? How do you describe 50? Is it colorful? Is it rough in texture? What does 50 smell like? What the hell does it matter? It is a number.

With the next 50 years I hope to travel a bit. I want to visit areas outside of New England where I have spent 99.9% of my life. One day I want to visit places in Europe. My husband is from Holland and it is one place that I will visit with him. Denmark, England, France and Italy would be nice places to see too.

I want to get a tattoo. A butterfly on my right ankle with the initiials of my children under it. Purple would be the color I choose for the butterfly. Now this will be difficult for me because I don’t like needles. Being a frugal person, I will find it hard to cough up the $50-$75 for the cost of the tattoo.

Having been a fluffy person for most of my adult life, I doubt I will ever be that 120 lb person that I once was. But, I would like to get my body in better shape. I need to get my butt to the gym and give it a workout. My job is physical and I do move about much more than I have in years, but it doesn’t replace an aerobic workout.

Allowing myself to give myself happiness is something that I need to work on. I want to be happier. I need to gift myself things that bring me more joy. Connecting with my family and friends needs to become a priority. Although I have managed to spend more time with them than I have in past years, I want to spend more time with them. Spending time with family and friends bring me great joy.

We all need to take time to breathe, to stop and look around us at the sheer beauty of our surroundings. Fifty is a number, nothing more.