In a sentence, manners have become trapped within a social drift.

It has become apparent in recent years that manners seem to rank below many other factors in life, this is true. Whilst, in my experience, Please and Thank you remain fairly commonplace, other manners seem to have been told to go to the naughty step. Main examples are eating with your mouth closed, saying “excuse me” when bumping into someone and not holding the belief that people different to you are ‘scum.’ People seem to have no regard for other people’s feelings, most likely through ignorance. People are simply too self-centered, and don’t appreciate that other people may find what they’re doing to be rude or offensive.

This being said, however, I do believe that this can go both ways. Now, while I appreciate that an eighteen-year-old’s opinion on the matter may be a tad controversial to older readers, I believe that manners should drift with society, and should be taken with a pinch of salt. There are some manners which encourage a sense of snobbish behavior among people. One of the manners I have been taught growing up is that we should care for old people, giving up seats for them, moving out of their way and other such things. This is a good idea, in principal, but when an elderly person expects people to get up for them on a bus, or move out of their way, how is this not seen as rude? I appreciate that people think respecting elders is important, and it is, but respect is earned, not commanded. 

Respect is the basis of many rules and manners. It is what we base our approach to authority on. While I agree that respect should be given to those in higher authority than us (parents, teachers, bosses etc…), I believe that people must earn this respect, and it should not come hand-in-hand with a position. Whilst in the past people believed that children were beneath adults, and that treating them less favorably was the norm (behaviors like beating and harsh punishments), there is a reason that many of these behaviors are illegal - they’re draconian. A parent should not command respect because they are a parent, they should earn this respect by being a good, understanding parent.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I agree that manners are failing and are being devalued, but it must be taken into account why we have manners, what is their basis? If the reason behind a manner makes no sense, it makes equally less sense to expect it to be enforced. A balance is needed. Being polite, please and thank you, table manners, these are important things in life. Only speaking when spoken too? Unfair and illogical. Balance is key.