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Is every Woman Meant to be a Mother – No

At some point, every woman ends up wondering if becoming a mother is something she wants to do. For many, these thoughts bring forth fantasies of cute cherubic faces and stylish bassinets, along with the splendor of creating a human life. Others find themselves recoiling at the thought of changing diapers, finding sitters, and losing much of the independence of their child free existence. Opinions on motherhood differ for every woman, and throughout every race, creed, and social class.

While it is not quite as expected for every woman to want to be a mother in this day and age, a fair amount of stereotyping still exists and it is common for a child-free woman to be either pitied or questioned about her choice. Friends and family imply that when she becomes a mother she will change her mind, or that it is unnatural for a woman not to want children. The fact is, it is hardly an issue of being selfish or unnatural, and to encourage someone to take that leap when they do not want to could be an irresponsible and devastating mistake. Occasionally a woman does not think she wants children and then ends up falling in love with the idea later on, but imagine the guilt and anguish of someone who follows this advice and has a child but finds she still feels no connection to motherhood.

The fact that there are so many children in state custody and foster homes is a testament to the fact that not every woman is meant to be a mother. Perhaps the mothers knew it to begin with, maybe it was accidental, or maybe they didn’t care. Occasionally someone is a good mother but there are other factors in play. Perhaps you are in a toxic relationship with your significant other or spouse, or you are surrounded by addiction, or you are not financially stable enough to care for a child. If you truly love children, that is not a good reason to bring one into a situation where he or she cannot be cared for properly. If anything, this is a major disservice to a child who will face many tough times in his or her future.

The fact is, not every woman is meant to become a mother, and not even every woman who wants to become a mother should be one. Perhaps biologically we are all capable of it, but the beauty of being a woman in the 21st century is that we are able to transcend our biological purposes. We can think however we want, have any career, and choose any lifestyle that suits us, and if there is a doubt in our minds that we would be the best mother possible we can choose to use birth control. This is an amazing time to be a woman and implying that every female is meant to become a mother is like saying we are all meant to cook and clean – it just isn’t happening.