As I reached the door to the restaurant I noticed two women about to exit so I opened the door and stepped back to allow them to leave. They both walked through the open door and neither of them acknowledged me in anyway. There was no voiced “thank you”, no smile, no nod, not even a simple look. I was shocked at their discourtesy. Even more, though, I was surprised at their ages. One was in her mid-teens and the other appeared to be her grandmother! This represented a three-generational case of bad manners.

So, the first place good manners have gone is “out-the-door” due to lack of teaching. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. who have a family responsibility to teach are neglecting or willfully refusing that responsibility. I was very dismayed when I saw a young mother with two small children spit out a huge wad of gum on the parking lot just before putting her children in the car. Not only did she show horrible manners by not respecting the other people who would be walking through that parking lot; not only did she not teach her children the proper way but she also deliberately taught her children bad manners.

This is also easy to see in other public places. Parents speak with rude voices and words to their children. The children, of course, answer the same way and interact with each and others in the same way. When the parents demand respect, the poor children don’t have any examples of what that means. The home and family is the best place for good manners to be taught. Parents need to accept and act upon that responsibility.

The second place good manners have gone is “down-the-tube.” Since at least the 1980’s, television shows have become more and more examples of bad behavior and crude actions. We, the audience, are encouraged to laugh when people knock someone else out of their way or eat sloppily. The easiest conduct to mimic is the derogatory, rude, snide come-back that is a main ingredient of the conversations in sitcoms. It is often accompanied by a laugh or applause soundtrack, further insinuating that it is acceptable, even desirable behavior.

When a group of people repeatedly view a certain type of behavior they will eventually begin to accept that behavior as normal and appropriate. Next they will incorporate those traits into their own interaction with other. It is easy to see the kind of behavior that those with bad manners are imitating by just turning on the television each day.

The third place good manners have gone is “up-in-smoke” as we send communication signals faster than we can think. The desire to text message with great haste leaves little time for courtesy which is an essential part of good manners. An email waiting for a reply gives us such a feeling of urgency that we just quickly send off a statement without enough thought as to how it will be received. These habits soon work their way into our oral communications and other interactions.

Our good manners have gone “out-the-door”, “down-the-tube”, and “up-in-smoke” because family members don’t take the responsibility to teach the younger generations; we take our examples from those who delight in bad behavior; and we are in such a hurry that courtesy is the first thing to go.