If anyone is a product of how early childhood experiences shape who we are, then I am the poster child. As a young child, we soak up information and situations much like a sponge would soak up soapy water. Sometimes we soak up clean experiences and sometimes they can be bitter and scar us for the rest of our existence.

As a child, I grew up in a strict Italian household. My parents were very over- protective and nothing I ever did seemed to please them. They were loving, but if you laughed too loud, or dropped a glass cup on the floor you were dead meat. When I was ten years old I broke my leg. Laying in the bed in the emergency room with my leg elevated, my dad walks in and started to yell at me. He told me I was a little bitch and that this was going to put him into the poor house. I asked him why, and he told me to use my brain if I had one and that the medical bills were going to put him into an early grave. For months on end, I had to listen to lectures of how you must always pay attention in life and that there is no excuse to break a bone.  

At age twelve, my bike got stolen out of my back yard by some local school boy punks and my father told me that he was going to knock my teeth down my throat. It wasn’t my fault that my bike got stolen but it was just a way for my father to vent his anger. He needed to place blame on the weak and helpless.  

You see, these types of situations can do one of two things to us. They can scar us for life, or they can empower us to be a better human beings for our kids. Unfortunately, when you are young and impressionable these situations can haunt you for many years. They can give you anxiety, depression, OCD, and affect our relationships later on in life.

I struggle with depression, and have social anxiety. I worry about everything, and this is because my mother and father beat it into my head that life is one scary ride and you have to keep your guard up every second of the day. An adult can see something bad occur right in front of them and understand that it was a situation that shouldn’t have happened but they can usually move on from there.  

A child would see a bad situation occur and not know what to make of it. Your brain at this age is not developed enough to understand the difference between something that will probably only occur once in front of you and this is the way life will be forever. Being a child, you haven’t had enough life experiences to see the whole picture.  

Now, having a pleasant childhood can shape you as well. Kids that I played with as a child, grew up in a house where you talked out your differences and never raised your voice. The mother and father encouraged the child to go out a grab life by the horns, not to crawl up into a ball and hide from it. These same children grew up to be very successful and seem to be very happy. It shows you how positive and negative environments early on can either make you or break you.