Can ambition destroy a relationship? Like with anything else, that all depends on the two people in the relationship. There are some ways in which ambition can be mutually beneficial. There are also some ways in which ambition can totally destroy a relationship. Let’s explore each in more depth.

Ambition can lead people to striving for bigger goals such as that dream car, exotic Carribean or European vacation, that investment property or vacation house on the beach or in the mountains. If two people are motivating each other to reach these or any other goals, it could be very fulfilling to each person in the relationship. This goal-oriented living gives them yet another thing they share and are trying to do together. It also asks each person in the relationship to be at their best regardless of what the couple is trying to accomplish.

Ambition can also have negative and damaging effects on a relationship. Longer hours in the office or field, a real lack of downtime, the inability to even go out for a cup of coffee or see a movie together, let alone take a nice vacation, can wear on a couple. The worst thing I think is when two ambitious people as opposed to motivating each other to be better, they start competing with each other as to who has the bigger salary, more prestigious position or the bigger office. Ambition by way of competition can cause disharmony and resentment, sending the relationship crashing and burning and two people looking back and wondering what happened. In addition, being at your best at all times (or what may seem that way) could become exhausting and another cause of resenting your partner.

I really feel almost anything can be good and bad for a relationship. That the structure and balance of the relationship depends on the two people in it. If they are seeing eye to eye on most everything (because anyone will tell you no two people agree on everything), then the relationship will most likely be a long-term happy and healthy one.  In closing, I think ambition is a good thing as long as the two people in the relationship share the same vision for life and have the same goals and will be willing to work hard and be consistent in reaching those goals. The bottom line is simple: find someone who shares the same ideas as you with regard to what they think life is supposed to be about.