Have you ever noticed how some people seem to just not want to be around other people; or when they are how they seem uncomfortable or antsy, and clearly want nothing more than to go somewhere else?

It’s a fact of life that some people are just antisocial. They don’t like most other people and really don’t like crowds or social gatherings or events. And they are also quite often intolerant of others who wish to be or are social. Why is this? Why are some people so antisocial?

For most people, the answer goes back to their childhood, as do most characteristics or attributes of personality or behavior. This makes sense, because it is during the early formative years that people learn not just about the world around them, but about themselves as well.

Most people that are antisocial start out with what is considered normal social behaviors and skills, but then get sidetracked along the way somehow. It might be a day-school teacher or a parent or an older sibling, or even a combination of these, that causes a child to turn away from others and inwards more towards themselves.

Quite often it’s the result of a string of unpleasant experiences that cause children and then adults to find other people less tolerable. For example, a parent that is there for the child, or a friend who deceives them, or a teacher who accuses them of things that aren’t true. It’s a seemingly odd combination of events that when they all come together cause a person to stop trusting other people, and then eventually, to stop liking them, or wanting to be around them.

Consider for example a child born to an alcoholic father and a mother who drifts off into her own world most of the time. This child learns to fend form himself because no one else is doing it for him or her. He or she also learns that interaction with either parent generally leads to something unpleasant, so, he or she stops trying. Then, consider how things go for this child in school. Because there was little or no home training, the child doesn’t know how to get along with other children and so winds up spending time alone again. But he or she isn’t truly isolated, instead, he or she watches the other children have fun together playing, and begins to feel resentment. And as time passes, the resentment builds to anger, and then because there is no place to put that anger, or even a good way to deal with it, that person just backs into the shadows, because venturing out, will only be a problem, or cause problems. Thus, it’s easier to sit back and simmer; to watch others from afar, while keeping safe inside from the criticism of those that choose to judge.

It’s not that hard to see how some people can grow to become bitter, and anti-social. What’s hard is reaching out to such an individual and inviting them to come join you and everyone else in the real world.