Part of our former business involved In-Home Family Services where we see a variety of problems. One of the biggest problem encountered is how to protect kids, specifically girls, and in particular from the grasp of gangs.

The kids you and I work with and parent are usually challenging and always vulnerable. Sometimes these are kids whose perceptions cause them to search for a ‘real family.’ (They may already have one, but they don’t see it that way.) They are looking for love, even when it is already theirs without asking. They are seeking approval. (That may be the one thing you withheld.) These are real needs that the gangs fulfill. Both sexes are attracted to gangs when they feel something in their life is missing. Gangs appear to provide the answer and our kids never stop to ask at what cost.

Boys get off easier, with their payment being violence and crime. Either as a perpetrator of violence upon others or as being borne by themselves as in being ‘jumped in.’ Illegal activities may be part of the initiation for boys, but the girlsthe poor girls.

Girls must pay a dearer price with their bodies as they relinquish all self-respect. Using their bodies is the usual coinage accepted by their ‘new family’ as payment.

Here in the Midwest, we have this problem also. Several gangs have overrun the cities and even are evident in the rural areas. Gang members outnumber the police so the situation gets out of control quickly. When gang activity escalates so does recruitment. Unfortunately, girls are not ignored. They are the top moneymakers for gangs so they run many of the prostitution rings.

Recently, we have been involved in such a case. We first became concerned at many of our young girls engaging in sex with 15 & 16 year- old boys. We tried to show them although the emotions and instincts were normal; acting upon them was not wise. Later we learned the sexual activity took place with numerous guys, many much older than we first thought. The girls were convinced these guys all loved them and were extremely reluctant to help us in any way that could result in prosecuting these young men. They were very protective.

After further investigation, informants claimed the same gang and men had been prostituting girls as young as age nine for the past four years. We were appalled and determined to save these girls. It was tough since they wished to protect these young men. Steps were taken to provide safer homes for the girls. Police involvement resulted in one arrest. Many young men that should be behind bars are still on the streets.

We placed girls in foster care for their protection, but girls made light of the situation. They shrugged off threats at school, never ending phone call hang ups, and even attempted break- ins at our homes. These guys loved them and would never hurt them. Finally they convinced their parents, who took them home. One of the girls had been repeatedly raped; the rest forced to commit numerous sexual acts on demand for unknown men. All these girls were expected to find more girls who would join them. Still, they protected those whom they should fear and viewed the situation as not serious.

How did this whole mess begin?

It begins when our children look for another family. They are, for whatever reason, disillusioned with their own. They start to ‘hang out’ with a new crowd, which includes the wrong kids. They want to go overnight to the same friends every night possible. They act more mature, more aloof, and more seductive. They are home less, spending less time with parents and pulling away from the family in general. The brainwashing has begun. The gang tells kids that their parents don’t understand them and just want to control them. They claim no one can love them like the gang does.

It starts with an older guy approaching a young girl. He says he is attracted to her and begs her to let him just talk to her. He starts to show her attention and lies he is younger than he is until she finds out that he is much too old for her. He begs her not to tell her mom and keep seeing him because he loves her and can’t help himself. The flattery that he uses is the same that young girls have succumbed to since time began. This may be her first experience of this kind and she is overwhelmed by all the attention and even expensive gifts. Soon the girls are introduced to the special young man’s male friends. She is now dating the whole gang.

She finds herself involved in a passionate relationship and soon is invited to a party. The party includes a few girls and many guys plus lots of opportunity to drink and use drugs. The whole room is full of people ‘making out.’ Soon the girl is much less inhibited and the fine line between ‘making out’ and ‘having sex’ is crossed with the help of a date rape drug or the girl passing out. She is told when she wakes that she had sex with many men and they all love her. They convince her that this is the way to live and start to ask her to perform ‘favors’ to repay friends they owe money. Eventually, she and the other girls are driven to a motel where they are expected to engage in sexual acts with men they don’t know usually aged 35 and over. One day she realizes she is the property of the gang and is a prostitute. Threats of harm and death to her and her family make her a willing participant till she cannot stand anymore.

Our informants tell us this gang has used girls as young as nine and has operated this prostitution ring for the past four years. How do we keep our girls safe?

My best advice:

Tell your kids you love them every day. Then show them. Talk to them, but more important listen to them. Learn to read signs that tell you something is wrong in your child’s life.

Be a family. Eat meals together around the table. Spend time with your kids. Do activities, sports, and games with them. Expect them to participate in all family events.

I advise parents to know their children’s friends. Make sure you go to these new friends’ houses to meet their parents face to face before you okay this relationship. You want to know that there is appropriate and adequate supervision for these children.

Do not allow your girls to wear seductive clothing. Remember these are children. Set a good example.

Show them ways to see their own worth in terms other than their body, image, and sexuality.

Help them succeed. Catch them doing good things and offer genuine praise. Help them find their niche and build up their self-esteem constantly.

Make them feel loved, safe, and that they belong.

Remember if you do not do these things, the streets will.