Maybe it is time to reconsider traditional family gender roles. The past twenty years have forced men and women to change considerably, which has not been a bad thing, but it may now be time for rebalance to ensure that we are able to continue to grow in a way that will be beneficial for society as a whole. There may be lessons to be learned when we look at what we have sacrificed in our quest to prove ourselves as equal and our need to be financially independent.

In the past, men went to work and women stayed at home and looked after the children. On the surface this would appear to be a good thing but sadly for many women this was not the case. Often men abused their position by spending the housekeeping money on alcohol or betting and were in general abusive to their families. In many cases women were left with no money to feed their children or pay the rent. If they complained they often got beat up, with even the police doing nothing because it was treated as a “domestic”, which meant they kept out of it because it was between a man and his wife.

This had to stop because it was an abuse of power by men against women and it was cruel. Men needed to learn to cherish their families and the only way this would work is for male attitudes towards their families to change. Women needed to learn they were not stupid and were perfectly capable of doing an important job and doing it well. After all they had been doing one of the most important jobs there is without any monetary rewards at all. After years of being oppressed and abused they found power in their independence. There has been immense learning for both genders throughout this process, but maybe now it is time to consider change again, using the knowledge gained to enable us to re-assess what is important to us.

The positives of this previous era was that the crime rate was less because children and teenagers were looked after and not allowed to roam the streets, but it was safe for them to play there for hours on end because there were always plenty of other children around and mums took it upon themselves to supervise any children within their vicinity, not just their own. There were family values and it was important not to let your family down. Manners, morals and discipline were all taught and most people adhered to them.

Children came home from school to find their mother busy preparing the evening meal and would quickly do their chores so that they could run out and play with their friends before dinner. Hopefully we have recognised that far from doing nothing - stay at home wives/mothers worked really hard to keep everything comfortable for their families. It was very hard work and there was rarely appreciation for what was being done and the amount of time and work that went into everything. Cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning…. the chores were endless. There was no 9 - 5 job for them, but I am sure if things had been fairer a lot of women would have preferred to stay at home and look after their families, but lack of money meant they had to work.

Another positive thing sadly missed is a strong community spirit. Back then very few, if any, suffered from isolation or loneliness because people looked out for each other and were more tolerant of each other. People were friendlier towards their neighbours and took the time to get to know them which led to stronger communities and a sense of belonging. This all seemed to stop when women went out to work and children no longer played in the street.

We may have come full circle but if women could trust men not to abuse their positions as the main breadwinners, and women were given respect and acknowledgement (monetary?) for the importance of the job we do in the family, women might return to their homes and be happy to look after their families and sanity may return to our lives and communities again.