As society has evolved so have women.  Where once, when we graduated high school and sought to get married and have children, this has become less the norm and more and more women are deciding to decide first.  They are not rushing into marital bliss as quickly and tend to live alone for at least a while to find out what they actually want.  Increasingly, you find women that have been in long marriages that by reason of divorce or death find themselves living alone, sometimes again, sometimes for the first time in their lives and wondering how they will do that. There has always been the traditional man/woman jobs.  Women cleaned and did the laundry, cooking and shopping, men took care of the lawn, finances, took out the garbage, killed spiders and took care of all household emergencies.  But what do you do when its only you? 

The first thing you do is understand that there really are no men/women jobs, just jobs and you need the skill sets to complete them, or in the very least manage them. Once you have reached this conclusion you start to understand that there is very little you cannot do if you put forth the effort.  You may not have the brute strength that a man has, but understanding limitations and a little thinking outside the box can still accomplish the same task for the most part.  Whether you believe it or not, EVERY woman should have thier own tool box, this is especially true if you own your own house.  A good hammer, a drill, a decent set of screw drivers and a good circular saw will come in very handy and you will find that the more you do, the more tools you will gather.  The right tool for any job makes the job much easier.

Home ownership is a constant project, things will always need updated and repaired, and if your income is good enough you can afford to hire people for everything, that’s great, but many of us need to realize that we can depend on ourselves to do what needs done.  Make sure you know where your water shut offs for the house are, check before all major water outlets, toilets, sinks, etc. for water shutoffs, and there should be one that shuts water off to the whole house.  Some older homes do not have individual shutoffs so it’s important to find this one, usually where the water lines come into the house. It’s good to know where these things are in the event of a major leak.  The sooner you can get the water shut off the less water damage will occur to the house and everything in the nearby area, and less cleanup that needs undertaking. Gas lines will also have shutoffs and should be identified in the event you smell gas.  If this occurs, shut the gas off, open windows and call a plumber, some things are best left to professionals.

Make sure you are familiar with your electrical box, if the circuits are not clearly marked where they feed electric to, take a few minutes and one by one shut them off and figure out where they run to, and clearly mark that on the box.  If a light needs repaired or changed, or if a breaker flips off for one reason or another, you will know where to look for it immediately.  Never, never work with anything electric with the power still on.  Changing a light is actually pretty simple, the new one goes in the same way the old one comes out.  White wires connect to white wires, black wires connect to black wires and the copper are the ground wires that also need secured for safety.  You will need wire cutters, ( that look like little pliers with a cutting edge) you can use the to strip the plastic off the wires for a good connection, electrical nuts to secure the wires together (many lights will come with them) 1 or 2 screw drivers depending on the light and electrical tape to insure everything stays secure and insulated once the wires are connected and the light is put back together, normally instructions are in the box.  It normally doesn’t take a great amount of strength, if it does, then you have forgotten to remove a bolt or a screw to take the old light apart.  The first one takes a little courage, patience, and caution.  There is nothing in a house that the average man can do that you as an intelligent woman cannot figure out  how to get done  The same results are typically achieved and sometimes better. Women tend to take their time and have things look the way they want them to look, what you may lack in talent, you will make up for in style and creativity.

You should know enough about your car, to know how to check and fill the fluids, make sure your tires are rotated every 5000 miles and  properly inflated as this can cause for your tires to wear poorly, increase gas consumption and cause your steering to be off.  Make sure that the oil is changed as recommended by the manufacturer of the car, most of the older vehicles were every 3000 miles, some of the newer vehicles use synthetic oil that only require changed every 7500 miles.  When you take your car to a mechanic ask him what was wrong and have him explain it to where you understand what happened to your car, if he doesn’t, you need a new mechanic.  Have the belts and hoses checked every year and figure that a battery will last about 3 years on average. It’s always better to be ahead of maintenance than to find yourself stranded.   Roadside assistance is invaluable, if you do not have it with your car, check with your cell phone carrier or AAA.  Verizon Wireless has an excellent roadside assistance program.

Money management, especially if you are on a budget is essential.  Make sure you know where your finances are all of the time.  Take at least one day a week and make sure your checkbook is correct, when bills are due and where you are financially.  This is whether you are married or not.  There will be nothing worse than going through a life change, by divorce or death and having no idea where your finances are.  Where hopefully it won’t happen, expect the best and prepare for the worst. This will help keep stress to a minimum.

The most important thing is to realize that traditional roles of men and women have changed with society and everyone needs to be pulling their own weight. We no longer live in a society where the man goes to work while the women stay home being Betty Crocker, the average family simply can no longer afford that lifestyle so the gender related jobs around the house have also changed.  Where spiders are creepy and frightening, you are still bigger than they are.  You will find that given the proper perspective that will be true of all of your problems, you just need to be bigger than they are.