It seems every generation looks back to some time in the foggy past when life was simpler, people were happier, and our families and communities were stronger and healthier. And every generation has its favorite villain to blame for the current era’s moral and cultural failings - godless communism, multiculturalism, and, of course, feminism.

Since the women’s movement of the 1970s, when post-suffragist feminists like Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem fought for equality and equity in the home and the workplace, many upholders of the status quo and lamenters of society’s current decline have latched onto feminism as the main culprit for the demise of family values in America. Change, of course, is always a little scary, and particularly for those who benefited from the way things were. And it’s easy to see the rise in divorce rates and single-parent families - even the declining birth rate among more affluent Americans - as a result of the growing number of women in the workplace and increasing economic independence of women who no longer feel marriage is their only option. Some women are choosing career over family, certainly, and the single life over marriage. The wider range of possibilities feminists of the 60s and 70s have won for women gives them the freedom to focus on their own happiness and fulfilment, and sometimes that freedom may come at the expense of husband and children.

But does this mean that family values are breaking down, or that feminism is at the root of the decay? Modern society has changed in many ways that damaging to marriage and lasting relationships. Children today are exposed to so many confusing outside influences from the media, the Internet, and constant consumer marketing that parents have far less ability to pass on their own values to their kids. Economic pressures make two-income families a necessity, not a free choice for many women who would prefer staying at home to raise their children. And our fast-paced, hi-tech society makes quality family time difficult at best; parents often aren’t even able to keep track of what their kids might be into.

The goal of the women’s movement was to create a more level playing field for men and women. A society may run more smoothly if it can count on one gender always to take a back seat to the other and be satisfied with living vicariously through their husbands and children - to be society’s (often unpaid) caretakers and domestic servants. The thing about people having greater freedom, with more choices and opportunities, is that they won’t always make the choices you’d like, or even the choices that are best for society.

Life is certainly more complicated when women come to expect an equal partnership in marriage, the freedom to pursue a career, the option to play the field as a single woman without being labeled promiscuous - to not be expected to always sacrifice their own needs and dreams for the sake of others. But a society that depends essentially on half the population being subservient to the other half is not a system worth preserving. If the freedom of women to control their own destiny undermines our family values, we probably should be reevaluating those values and trying to create a society that encourages all people to fulfill their potential.

Every society has to find some balance between personal freedom and responsibility of individuals to the community as a whole. A society certainly can’t function if everyone simply focuses on his or her own needs and interests and has no concern for the common good. The feminist movement was about equality and freedom, not selfishness and irresponsibility. And true family values include nurturing of all family members, not only for the good of all, but for the good of each individual member. Both husband and wife can benefit from a more equal partnership in which they share in family decisions and responsibilities. Greater freedom and more choices for everyone can actually strengthen the family and the family-centered values we cherish.