The ancient Celts often practiced a ritual they called Anamchara’, formalizing friendships in the same way that marriage rituals formalize the bond between lovers.

Like the Native Americans who perform blood-brother rituals, the ancient Celts often formalized their friendship bonds through a ritual known as Anamchara. This is a Gaelic word that translates as soul friend’. Soul friends are partners and equals who discuss problems and share advice. They balance out each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and feel able to share everything with one another.

By performing the Anamchara ritual you outwardly formalize your inner feelings for your friend, deepening the spiritual and emotional connection that already exists. A soul friend is not a crutch, however. Rather than bearing all your burdens, she shares them so that your load is lightened. She will lend a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on, but remember your friend needs you as often as you need her.

Anamchara originated in ancient Ireland, where Druids functioned as Anamcharas to Pagan Celtic chieftains. Later, Christian saints took over this spiritual role and provided similar guidance. The ritual bonding was especially popular in early Irish monasteries.

Today, anyone who provided support to another can be a soul friend. They are often likened to the Christian role of godparent.

You should consider what is involved when you ask someone to be your soul friend. Like marriage, this union should be a relationship that will last through this lifetime and beyond.

Many people get nervous about ritual commitments and cancel at the last minute. This only shows that your potential soul friend is taking her obligation seriously.

The Anamchara ritual comes from the heart, not from the tools that are used. By completing the ritual, one can cement the bonds that tie the friends together.

The items used in a Celtic bonding ritual are:

Three candles and holders - to represent both of you and your union. The colors should have a theme of unity. For example, if your individual candles are blue and red, choose violet for the unity candle.

Three cups or glasses one large and two small ones.

A gift for your soul friend. This should remain a secret until it is presented.

An altar cloth or floor covering

A box of tissues. This ritual can be very emotional.

1. Gather all your items and take them to the place you have chosen for your ritual. Place the items on the ground (using a floor covering if you want) between you and your intended soul friend, and fill the two small cups with a drink of your choice. Draw a magic circle around yourselves, sharing the duty equally. Sit down near the middle of the circle, facing one another.

2. Each of you in turn should sip from a small cup and then pass to the other to sip. Pour the remaining contents into the larger cup and state your friendship intentions aloud:

“I am your friend,
I am your teacher,
I am your student,
I am your dependent,
I am your solace,
I am your shield,
I am your child, sister and mother”.

Each of you then takes a drink from the filled unity chalice.

3. Now take a match and each light the candle closest to you. The unity candle that sits between you represents your unity and the potential of two spirits on the same journey, each supporting the other. Join the flames of your individual candles to light the wick of the center one. You can make a unison statement at this point, such as:

By this ritual I am bound to you as your friend of the soul your Anamchara. See our flames shine brightly, burning hotter and stronger together than they can separately. All my wisdom and all my secrets I share with you for as long as this life endures. Until we meet in the next life, so mote it be’

Trust that at this moment your emotions will be running very high, which is why you have that box of tissues nearby.

4. Present to each other the gift or token you have brought to seal the ritual. A piece of Celtic jewelery would be appropriate, as are crystals. When you have exchanged gifts, set all your other materials aside, leaving only the unity candle burning between you and your soul friend. When you both feel ready, extinguish the unity candle and close the circle. Lastly, take the liquid from your unity chalice outside and, together, pour it onto the ground as an offering to the Earth mother. As you do this, visualize your joined spirits becoming a part of the great mother from whom you came.