Who has better manners: Americans or British?

I think that generally when people talk about good manners and the British they are actually referring to English manners. If this question had been put to me thirty years ago my answer would have been very different but English culture has undergone an enormous shift since the 1970’s and in many ways not for the better. Additionally, up until 4 years ago I had no personal experience of American culture beyond what I saw on my television screen and what I gleaned through that marvellous weekly radio programme Letter from America’ hosted by the veteran broadcaster Alistair Cook.

So what is the state of English manners then in the twenty first century?

Well I think that firstly we have to attempt to define what we mean by manners here. Conventions such as opening a door for a lady to pass through first or giving up a seat on public transport for someone else are specific instances of what many would class as good manners’, but in a wider sense surely good manners are essentially possessing the utmost respect for other people and behaving accordingly.

In a culture where the overriding motivation is the acquisition of wealth and conspicuous consumption at the expense of anyone who gets in your way, there is little room for a philosophy which would put the needs or feelings of others above your own. Children absorb the opinions and mores of their elders, learning from the example of adult life that they perceive around them as they grow up. Let us examine some of the manners’ that English society is exhibiting at the present time.

A culture that is so privatised that people can live in the same street for twenty years and have no interaction with their neighbours whatsoever. Where concern for and interest in the people who live next door never occurs to anyone to the extent that even a polite good morning’ is eschewed in favour of total blanking like they don’t even exist. Streets where people die in their houses and nobody even notices.

A culture that glorifies getting drunk to the extent that the whole purpose of going out in the evening is to drink so much alcohol that you end up vomiting or fighting in the street and mooning’ people for fun. A country where the outing is not considered a success unless you achieve a level of alcoholic poisoning that means you cannot even stand up straight.

A place where the take it or leave it’ level of service in our shops is so poor that customers are for the most part ignored while sullen assistants stand about chatting and make you feel that they are doing you a huge favour if they even bother to serve you.

A culture that has so little respect for authority that for instance education professionals, armed forces members and emergency service personnel are held in low regard and subject to regular abuse. This situation has led to the intolerable position that we find ourselves in where teachers are threatened in the classroom, army and airforce personnel are told not to wear their uniforms off base and firemen find themselves being pelted with rocks and sworn at while they try to put fires out.

A culture where everyone knows their rights but nobody wishes to shoulder their responsibilities. A culture where if other people don’t like what you do or say, well, it’s ok to tell them to * off.

This then is the example that we are setting as a nation to our children.

I have to contrast this with the experience I had in the States where friendliness and good manners seemed to be second nature to most of the Americans that I met. Service levels in the stores I went in were of the highest standards and the members of staff were helpful, interested and polite. Additionally in stark contrast to the UK, personnel in the armed forces and emergency services were held in high regard and afforded the utmost respect.

So who has the best manners Americans or British? I know who my vote goes to.