“Sometimes you get what you ask for”…. So many times I have heard this when window shopping, walking in the park, wishing for a trip to New York, or just when I wished for something someone else had. But, “and all the problems that come with it.” concludes this statement.

Someone told me the other day to stay out of their room which I never go into anyway. Before, I had always thought, “how silly. I don’t go in that room - my stuff is in my room,” and not given it another thought. Well, that day it hit me hard as I was simply worn out with Christmas. I flung back, “you don’t have a thing in your room I want unless it is mine and some of the things I have, I don’t even want.” I didn’t get an answer so I guess that resolved that problem.

A new car? Why? I had one and gave it away because of the blindness in my left eye which makes it illegal for me to drive. Surely, I would like a new car but along with it, there’s insurance, tags, registration, the upkeep of it, and all the goodies that come with it. Not to mention the payments. I plan to have surgery on my eye so that I can drive again but, my insurance won’t pay for the surgery, until it has progressed to a certain level. I would like to be able to leave when I want and go where I want without asking someone for a lift which they are usually paid for the trip.

A married man? Of course, women want them. They are married and inaccessible and it works the same way with a man. Sometimes, a married man will divorce and marry his single woman, but, for the woman, that takes away the challenge of taking him from his wife. The woman hasn’t been with the married man as much as his wife has and she certainly wouldn’t know how he is as a husband. That could be a very bad mistake, also. Oh, sometimes, it works but, she still has his extended family to cope with.

I’m ashamed to say that one time I was seeing a married man when I was most vulnerable after my divorce. He said, “If I got a divorce, she would take everything I had and I wouldn’t be able to give you as much.” I got out of that situation and fast. I had my own house, a job, child care, cars and food to feed Cox’s Army, my own friends and I had been wishing he was my husband.

To think, I would have broken up that man’s marriage over something I really didn’t want and apparently, he didn’t either, so, we were both saved over something we really didn’t want.

I admit I wanted his lifestyle for they were building a new house. I had a house. It wasn’t new but, it was mine and afterwards, I was so thankful that he had the new house and his wife and I had my old house, only.

What is it about wanting something you cannot have? Just knowing that you can’t have it? The competition in trying to get it? Do you get a compulsion to just have it and can think of nothing else?

Some people have compulsive/possessive tendencies and cannot let go. That is when you have to get up, quit thinking about it and get your mind on something else. You cannot get yourself possessed in that manner. It will ruin you, make you depressed because you do not have it - just let go and let God decide. Sometimes, it takes entrance of another person to help you get over this compulsion and that can help. If you have to and can, get away, move if possible - another region will mean new friends, new surroundings and a new apartment or house for you and you will survive.

My answer is that people know they can’t have it and that makes them want it that much more.

In God We Trust