My definition of success has changed throughout my years. I used to define it as financial security, material backup and the achievement of health and welfare of my children. I now define it as becoming the most enlightened person that I can become. Shedding “light” on my beliefs, and my own knowledge and the knowledge of the world. My success is attained through spiritual awareness of nature, quiet thought and my connections with new ideas and people. 

I realized I was aging around 15 years ago. Walking to the mailbox, I looked down at my knees and was horrified to see the skin move with each step. I had never seen that before. I had begun to notice more aches and pains, wrinkles, I was slower and there were many other clues that I didn’t pick up on. But, it really hit me one day when a co-worker was talking about considering marriage to her boyfriend. I said, “How much do you love him? Can you picture you two together in 40 years? If you can, maybe it’s right.” She said, “It’s easy for you to say, you’ve already made all the big decisions. You’re all done.”

She was mostly right. Realistically, I thought about my life. I had a loving husband, 2 beautiful and educated children, grown and leading happy lives. I had a yoga class twice a week to attend, I volunteered regularly, I had a nice garden, wonderful friends, a beautiful house, money in the bank, and nice clothes. What more was there? I had achieved my “young” goals and I wondered if this was what success was. Truthfully, my “young” goals didn’t fit me anymore. All along, I had planned with realism, I had a sense of my physical, social, financial and intellectual needs. The only difference was that being retired, I had more time to myself. Was this happiness? What about my dreams? Were they still alive? Was I “all done”?

For 35 years, my husband and I had fantasized about travel. For us, all of the somedays had finally arrived. Through much soul searching and many sleepless nights, we decided to sell our house and leave our community of 23 years. We sold most of our belongings, bought a used RV and sorted through all of the memories, particulars, tied up loose ends. We were afraid. We were no longer wrapped in the cocoon of predictability. Complacency had dulled our sense of wonder. Fear often prefaces a beautiful and surprising change. So, with the love and encouragement from friends and family, we moved on to the next exciting stage of life. Every day is new and sometimes frightening, but we are learning, loving and living a different life.

It makes me smile to read a quotation from Mark Twain, “When I was 14, I was astonished at how ignorant my father was, so that I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in 7 years.” Like our children, we are evolving and changing. I am more comfortable in my skin now than I ever was. I don’t take myself too seriously. I am more accepting. I can see both sides. I am less anxious over small problems. I am freer. I accept my aging body. I don’t want more stuff. My measure of success has changed and I accept it with joy.