If you ask American children who they idolize or who their role models are, they will most likely answer with their favorite actress, movie star, athlete, singers, rappers. Why is society allowing this to continue? What harmful effects are we passing on to our children that are admiring people who they see as perfect, at the top of the world, the best of the best.

This isn’t healthy. Although I encourage my children to be the absolute best. I tell them they can do anything. But I don’t compare their singing to Celine Dion. That would be cruel. But this is what children do. They admire and compare. They see their shortcomings in a more pronounced way. I think they need to understand that the people they idolize are just like you and me, some are extremely talented, some excel through a lot of hard work in athletics, some are famous for absolutely no reason at all, some are infamous and shouldn’t be famous for any reason at all.

I think it’s necessary to shift our children’s focus from what I call “MTV-colored glasses” that see the world as revolving around themselves, fast cars, big mansions, $1,000 champagne, jewelry with lots of bling, saggy pants, short skirts, disrespectful language, casual drug and alcohol use and casual sex, backstabbing friends, cheating, lying, stealing, gossip, greed, $500 purses, name brand clothing that costs way too much money…I could go on and on. I am fairly sure I will never allow my children to watch MTV, even though I enjoyed it in my youth, it is not the same as it used to be.

I try to share with my kids stories of regular people that accomplish great things. My daughter loves Hannah Montana, but does she idolize her, want to be like her? Maybe in some ways, she secretly does, because she is eight, but I am doing my best to show her that who she should be idolizing are people who change the world. I explain to her that when she grows up, she needs to do something with her life that helps other people. She can do whatever she wants, but there is no reason to go through this life, the one short trip we have on earth, and not leave it a better place. Make her mark. I am not sure if Miley Cyrus will be remembered in 100 years from now here in America. But George Washington will still be. Albert Einstein. Mother Teresa. Maybe her name doesn’t even need to be known, but it has to be a contribution to the world, to society that she can rest in peace with. I would hate to leave this earth knowing I was a waste of the gift we were given. I want to make it better while we are here, and if I can do that on a small scale in my community, then I do what I can. But I want my kids to aim high. It only takes one person to change the world. Hopefully for the better, but as we know about Hitler, it can also be one man changing it for the worse. I think kids these days are out of control and I fear for the next generation and my children’s roles in it. Because of the children who will meet them as adults in the future my kids will have a tough environment in which to thrive. Everyone knows it is harder to be good when everyone else is being bad. It takes a strong person to stand up for what they believe in and I am trying to equip them with the tools they will need to stay strong and focused.

I have lots of respect for musicians, movie and tv stars. I love television and the entertainment industry. I enjoy what they do. I suppose in some way many of these performers are making the world a better place by sharing the talents they have with the world. But unfortunately for them the lifestyle includes too many negative aspects and stigma’s that can be a big downside to the fame (although they may not see it)Make sure your kids know what real people these “famous” people are, allow them to see the inadequacies of people they think of as perfect and idolize. This will help them see that nobody’s perfect, I think it teaches children that these “famous” people are not fully deserving of their idolatry and perhaps they will value more important traits in their fathers, mothers, grandparents, teachers, religious figures, scientists, philanthropists, people that have made the world a better place. You can still admire those for their talents but not for their character, just make sure your children are aware that they choose poorly and that one small mistake can be a turning point in their life that they can never take back.

I think even Tiger Woods can still be used as a role model for golf. After all he is still possibly the greatest golfer that ever lived. Do you have to be the nicest , moral guy to be a great athlete? No. Was John McEnroe not a great tennis player? Was Jim McMahon not a great Quarterback because he had an attitude problem? Does anyone even know about Michael Jordan’s affairs? How about the hypocritical Jesse Jackson, if there was ever someone who should owe the public an apology it should be from someone who preaches about being righteous. There are countless athletes and public personalities that don’t fit the American Sweetheart mold. Big Deal. There are plenty that do. Plenty of people that you can use as examples of success, generosity, goodwill, kindness, like Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt, Bono from U2, Peyton Manning or Drew Brees (who are married and have charitable foundations they are very involved with) or young people like Olympian Hannah Teeter who donates a major portion of her earnings to a foundation she set up in Africa. My children understand that the actors and actresses they like are people. When Jamie Spears got pregnant at 17 and she was featured on the Disney Channel on Zoey 101. They ended up hearing about it. I had to explain the situation to them by saying she is a regular teenager. She made a big mistake. You don’t ever want to do what she did and I don’t want you to look up to her for that reason, she should be ashamed of herself because she was in a position where she was a role model to kids, like it or not and some people don’t bother to explain anything to their kids about role models or characters for that matter and those are the kids that she has a responsibility too. Kids need to see that just like movie stars and athletes, we all make mistakes. You can learn from other people’s mistakes as well as your own. Even better because you don’t have to make them. 

I am not naive enough (anymore) to allow  these famous people’s failures and scandals shock me or hurt me or lock my kids in the house and not allow them to watch anything on television. I expect abysmal behavior from public personalities more and more. I talk about the terrible behavior that young people exhibit, I tell them that I am going to do everything I can to try and raise them to be amazing. I don’t want them to just go to college and get a job and be happy. I want them to go to college, find a calling in life that you believe needs to be fixed, helped or changed and that will be the work that will make you happy, because it will mean a lot to you. You may like money, but being a bank teller may not be the job you can’t wait to get up and go to work everyday to. I highlight for them their strengths so they can see what they excel at over other people, but I also make sure I emphasis what they lack in them that they can work on to be a better person, be it empathy, honesty, patience. So they know that just because they are good at one thing, doesn’t mean they are better than anyone else. It means that everyone has something special to offer the world and I have discovered that most people don’t use it, perhaps they have never even found it. Some may think it is one thing and discover later in life it was something else. Which is why I try to encourage my kids to want to find what their passion is, and one day they will go out in the world and help people while making themselves happy in the process, my 12 year old wants to be a politician and perhaps the President , my 8 year old wants to be a scientist that will cure cancer. Although my 6 year old still remains steadfast that he wants to be an ice cream man. (free all you can eat ice cream he figures, I admire the logic though!)

The point is they don’t want to be movie stars or baseball players and make lots of money, they have looked inside themselves and thought this through for many years and they continue to express their interest in these careers, will they end up doing them? Who knows. I tell them they can. Someone has to. It might as well be them. If you shoot for the stars, you might end up on the moon. It doesn’t matter how close they come, what matters is that I have managed to teach them something about committing their lives to making this world a better place and maybe getting free ice cream in the process.