Life is full of ups and downs, it is not a smooth road and we all suffer setbacks along the way. Change is the only constant in life, sometimes unwelcome, and of late, it does seem that difficulties and hard times are the only changes on offer.  We rarely get the exact things we want in life, and even the process of getting them is often not a straightforward climb. Once in a while, we all lose ground, and must recover before we can go on again. Here are some tips to recover from life’s setbacks:

*Don’t look back

It is no point thinking about how things were in the past before the setback happened. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery from any problem, however small or large. There is no going back, this is the new normal. Running away from any setback is not an option, looking it in the eye is the wise thing to do. Recognizing the new set of circumstances will determine the coping strategies for them. Sometimes setbacks occur when something in our lives needs to come to an end, whether a business venture, a relationship, or maybe a certain lifestyle or way of doing a job. Unless that is acknowledged, there can be no resolution or moving forward. 

*Look for the opportunity

A famous leader once said that a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity while an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. That’s not an easy task, to find an opportunity in unwelcome change, but there is a chance to learn from setbacks. Ask yourself the right questions so that if mistakes have been made, they should not be repeated again in the future. Don’t let it be a witch hunt or an exercise in guilt, but find the kernel of knowledge that is hidden within every setback. Use it to grow in character and experience both.

*Remain positive

It is our attitude that makes the difference more than anything else, it determines the outcome of a difficult task, and nowhere is it more applicable than to recovery from a setback. Keep positive, negativity never accomplishes anything.  Bitterness is a very corrosive emotion, don’t give in to it. Don’t let a setback in one area of your life cloud all others either, celebrate what you have. Assess your recovery realistically, set realistic goals and chalk up the baby steps. It is not going to be set right in one dramatic sweep, so don’t ignore the small successes. Remember to enjoy the little things of life, to smell the roses.

*Give yourself a break

Don’t feel pressurized to be cheerful all the time though, setbacks are hard to assimilate into everyday life, so be kind to yourself. Accept that you will feel a range of emotions, anger, confusion or despondency, and it will take a little time to heal and recoup. Admit to yourself also that you will not be able to perform all your tasks like you did before at optimal level of efficiency. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel and accept your moods and work around them.

 *Don’t go it alone

Trying to solve any problem alone and isolated is neither healthy, nor necessary. Isolation only increases stress levels further and can impact your overall health and well being. As they say, a trouble shared is trouble halved. Talk to close family members or friends who can help you. If it is a work issue, talking with a trusted colleague or superior can help. Other people, some of whom may be more experienced than you, can bring fresh perspectives and help you identify the correct steps you need to take.

*Keep busy, meaningfully

Keeping busy in a meaningful way takes your mind off your setbacks and relaxes it. Find a new hobby or refresh an old one; find a new cause and connect with people; or join a club or take up a course; anything that you enjoy and that helps you cope better. A setback often dents self esteem, and activities that take you out of yourself and focus on others can build that up again. Getting together with people who like your company and who you enjoy being with also serves the same end.

*Find resources to cope and recoup

Define your problem area and then find resources to cope and strategize. Depending on the specific nature of your setback, there are resources out there which can provide support. As mentioned before that can be a close relative or a sympathetic friend. It can also be a psychiatrist or a medical professional. It could be an individual or an institution like the Church, reconnect with your spirituality if you are religious. Find an on-line support group, or support networks in your local community. The key thing is to find the resource that fits your situation and use it effectively to recover. 

*Persevere, without self-pity

Talking about your setbacks doesn’t mean complaining though, that is negative and eats away at your positivity. Stay focused on the help you need and want, and talk to the relevant people concerned, not all and sundry. Don’t whine and stick to your purpose, that of moving forward into the future not rehashing the past. Take responsibility for positive change to reverse the setback, and decide not to quit till that is achieved. Perseverance is important to complete healing.

*Moving on

Once the setback is accepted and the process of recovery is put in place, check your achievements against the goals and tweak your plans when you need to.  Make sure you are on track from time to time, but don’t let it consume every minute of your consciousness. Look at setbacks as speed bumps on the road and not blind lanes, and move on.