There are many reasons we should plan our own funerals. The biggest reason that I can think of is love.  You love the ones you will leave behind. They love you. Your wishes and theirs are paramount and will not be known unless you sit down and discuss them openly, honestly, and lovingly.

Funeral directors and others working in the funeral industry have heard all the reasons not to plan ahead. The most popular misconceptions are: “I have insurance”,” I have a will and I have listed my wishes in it.” “I don’t care what they do with my body after I die-bury it in the back yard.” ” I’m young and not going to die for years.”

Unfortunately, these attitudes place the people we care about most, in a horrible position at the worst possible moment in their lives. It is time to realize that we are not going to live forever. We are mortal and we are going to die. It is part of life. So with that in mind let’s discuss some of the reason’s why you should make the arrangements now, while you are in good health. There are a lot of decisions to be made and none of us want our loved ones to be forced to make them all at once or alone. The loving thing to do is help those you love through the process. Let’s address the comments that I mentioned above.

“I have insurance so it is all taken care of.”

Insurance is money. It is paid approximately 30 to 45 days after the funeral. Generally the beneficiary signs the policy over to the funeral director and he takes out what he needs then gives them the rest. The funeral director knows up front how much money they have to spend. 

 When you go to buy anything else, do you tell them how much money you have in the bank before you decide what to buy? Have you ever gone into a car lot and said to the salesman “I have $$$$$$ in my checking account and I want to buy a car. What do you suggest?” No of course you didn’t. You retained control of your money until after you made the choice. In most cases you looked for another car before you were desperate for it. You decided what kind, what color, how big, standard or automatic, etc.: before you bought it, and you shopped around for the best deal. 

Funeral arrangements should be no different. You should make the decisions while your head is clear and you can make them together. I am in no way insinuating that the funeral director is dishonest or will take advantage of anyone. They won’t. They are there to help. However, they have no way of knowing what other expenses your family may have or how long it will be until there is more money coming in. Only you and your loved ones know that, so only you and your loved ones really know how much of the insurance money you can afford to spend. 

“I put all my wishes in my will.” 

It is wonderful if you have a will. If you don’t have one, you should consider making one. That will save your family a lot of money in inheritance taxes and it will get your assets disbursed in the manner you want. Without one, sometimes the state gets to make the decisions. I know you don’t want the government deciding what is to be done with the things you worked all your life to obtain. 

 However, a will is probated generally a month or more after the funeral. If you did not share with your family, your wishes for your funeral beforehand, it is too late. You wanted to be buried but they didn’t know that so they made the decision to cremate you. Now they have to live with guilt for not having done what you wanted. You need to discuss it and let them know what you want so they can feel comfortable that they carried out your final wishes exactly as you wanted. 

“I don’t care what they do with my body-bury it in the back yard” 

Okay, we all know that they can’t bury you in the backyard but what about the rest of the statement. You are correct in the statement that you won’t care what they do with your body. But they will and now they are in a position whereby, the day after you die, they must make the decision of what to do with your body. Burial? Cremation? Entombment? Organ donor? Donate your body to science? With you gone it is their decision to make; alone and without your wisdom, when they have just been through the shock of your death. Is that really the position you want your loved one in? Of course not. They need your wisdom and your help-give it to them while you still can. 

“I’m young and I’m not going to die for years.” 

I certainly hope and pray you are right but we have no guarantees. Young people die every day. I am sure they all planned to live many more years. None of us know the hour or day of our death; we only know that we will die. The time we have is now and the time to discuss this with our family is now. Let’s not put it off any longer. I know it is uncomfortable to talk about. It is for everyone. But, now is the best time to talk about it-while you are capable of helping them make decisions. 

At the time of death, the next of kin faces the prospect of answering literally hundreds of questions in rapid fire succession. There is a lot of information that is needed and many decisions to be made. Now is the best time to get the information together and make the decisions that are best for you and those you will leave behind.