Prologue

I do not have a PhD. I am not a famous author. I am not a self-help expert.
Even though I am not famous, I have LIVED.
Yes, that is right, I have lived.

I have learned many lessons along the journey of life.

The lessons I have learned have changed my way of thinking. They have changed my life.

All it takes is making a conscious effort to THINK, and use common sense.

Yes..The Choice is Yours!

Come with me on a journey of things that happen in everyday life. I will teach you what I have learned.

If I can make a difference in just on person’s life, then I have accomplished my goal.

Getting Up In The Morning

Throughout this essay, I am going to ask you may times to envision a large red STOP sign. This is your cue to STOP and THINK.

It is a work day. The alarm goes off. You hit the snooze button the maximum number of times. You are trying to stay in bed as long as possible. You are dreading the day. Some of the thoughts going through your mind may be:

I don’t want to face another bad day.

I wish I could stay in bed and sleep.

I just know I am going to have a bad day.

Hello! If you tell yourself you are going to have a bad day, guess what will happen?
Yes, that is right. You will have a bad day. It is guaranteed.

STOP

Change your thoughts. Use some of the positive thoughts to start your day right.

WOW! Another day. I am going to make this the best day possible.

I could stay in bed and sleep, but I can’t wait to get up and see all the beauty around me. The sun is coming up. The flowers are blooming. I am going to concentrate on all the beauty in my world today.

I am going to have a good day. No matter what happens, I will STOP and THINK of the positives instead of the negatives.

We must constantly be monitoring our thoughts to ensure that the thoughts are positive and not negative.

Yes, I know it sounds like a lot of work.

Guess what? It is a lot of work. But, with practice, we will begin to think positive thoughts. We will take a bad habit (Negative Thoughts) and turn it into a good habit (Positive Thoughts).

In the next chapters, I am going to take everyday events, and show you how you can turn the negative into the positive. I am going to offer you advice on what has worked for me.
I know they will work for you also.

Workday Traffic

Ok. You got through hearing the alarm clock and getting up. You have told yourself that it is going to be a good day. You have a positive attitude, everything is wonderful.

Now you are driving to work and of course, what happens now?
Yes, that is right the Workday Traffic Jam.

You have already told yourself that this is going to be a good day, but how can this be a good day if you are stuck in traffic and stressed out about being late for work.

STOP and THINK!

Remember, try to think in a positive manner, not a negative manner. You do not want to “undo” what you have already accomplished today.

Ok. I am in a traffic jam. I will not let this ruin my day.

Take a deep breath and relax.

Put on your favorite music and sing along. Who cares if the other drivers look at you like something is wrong with you. You are having fun listening to your
Favorite songs and singing along.

Do not get stressed. If you have already determined that it is certain that you will
be late for work, there is nothing you can do about it. Getting stressed out is not
going to get you there any faster.

If you have a cell phone, call your boss and let him/her know that you are stuck in
traffic, and you are going to be late. Offer to make up the time that you are late by staying late. Ok, that is taken care of.

Ok, so now, you are stuck in a traffic jam. You are staying relaxed. You have called your boss about being late.

What is left?

Nothing. You have all bases covered. You are not going to let this ruin your day.

Interacting with Co-Workers

Most of us, at one time or another, have had a co-worker say something to us that has upset us.

Typically, the person who has upset you is not even aware that what they said was, insulting, hurtful, etc.

If you let this “fester” you are only going to feel worse and worse. Then you will get mad or upset at this person.

I have found 2 ways of handling this situation.

The first one is:

If you are close enough to this person that you can speak freely, talk to them
about it. Explain that what they said to you was perceived as being hurtful or
insulting.

I have found that this always works to resolve the issue.

The second way:

If you are not comfortable with talking freely with this person, this is what to do:

STOP AND THINK

Tell yourself that this person is probably not aware that what he/she said upset
you.

Tell yourself that whatever was said is not important enough to let it ruin your
day. This person is not important to you in your personal life.

Forget it and get on with your day.

I am reminded of a quote that I once heard: “He who angers us, or upsets us
controls us”.

Think about it. If we think of how upset or angry we are all day because someone
said something to upset us, our day is going to be ruined. Why should we let someone else control how we are going to get through the day.

Remember, you are in control of your thoughts. Simply say the following to
yourself:

“I have already gotten through the process of getting up and telling my self that
This is going to be a good day”.

“I survived that traffic jam, and didn’t let it ruin my day”.

“Why should I let someone who I am not even close to ruin my day by
something that he or she said”.

“Why should I give this person the power to control what the rest of my day is
going to be like”?

STOP and THINK

I am in control of my thoughts. Just because someone said something to upset me, I will not let that person ruin my day. I WILL NO give that person the power to ruin my day.
I am in control, and I am going to have a great day.

REMEMBER: “He who angers us or upsets us, CONTROLS us”.

The Irate Caller

OK. We have gotten through the process of waking up, surviving a traffic jam, brushing off the thing that a co-worker said to upset us. What could happen next?

The phone rings. It is an irate caller who does not let you get a word in edgewise, and the more the person talks, the more stressed you get.

First of all, when you get a chance, use the person’s name and tell them you are sorry about whatever it is they are calling about. Offer your assistance in resolving the issue.
The dialogue would be something like this”

“Mr Smith, I am sorry you are upset about your bill, what can I do to assist you’?

If this doesn’t work, and the caller keeps speaking in an angry manner, repeat the above sentence.

Remember not to take anything personally. You are a voice on the phone to this person.
Stay calm. You do not want to start speaking in an angry manner also. This does not solve anything. The caller is already upset about the company you work for, you do not want to give them any more ammunition to be angry.

Remember that there are some people that you just can’t please. The will be angry no matter what. But, you MUST remain calm. Speak in a normal tone of voice, do not raise your voice. Sometimes this will work to calm down the irate caller.

Try to get the caller to give you specific information that he/she is angry about. This will help you decide if you can solve the problem, or need to refer it to another department.

Some times when the call is ended, nothing has been resolved. The caller is still angry and you are stressed out.

STOP and THINK

This is when we have to make a conscience effort to make sure that our day is not ruined by this caller. Remember, we have accomplished a lot. We woke up and got out of bed with a positive attitude. We survived that awful traffic jam without getting stressed. Whatever a co-worker said to upset us has now in the past, and we have moved on. With all of these accomplishments we have made in the day, we are NOT going to let an irate caller spoil everything that we have accomplished.

Tell yourself:

He/she is not mad at me, personally.

This person means nothing to me in my personal life. I am not going to get upset about someone who has played such a small part in my daily life.

I know that I remained calm and tried everything I could think of to make this
person less angry.

Remember the saying, “He who angers us or upsets us, controls us”.

Why should you let this person control how the rest of your day is going to be?
You are the one in control. You will take a deep breath, tell yourself there is no
Reason to be upset. The you will get on with it.

Stress in the Checkout Line

Wow! We have certainly experienced many things that would typically ruin our day, but we have done a lot of work to see that that won’t happen. We have learned what to do and say to ourselves to make sure we will have a good day.

We have taken several things that have occurred throughout the day, and turned our negative thinking into positive thinking. We are having a great day.

What else could we possibly encounter that might stress us out?

Imagine the next scenario:

You are on your way home from work. You have a list of errands to run. Your first stop is at the grocery store. You are in the checkout line when you hear the dreaded message announced: “Price Check on Register 5″. You look up and see the number “5” for the checkout line you are in.

You immediately get stressed. Some of your thoughts might be:

Why do I always get in the slowest line?

This is going to take forever

How am I going to get all my errands done?

You start tapping your foot, looking around to see if there is a shorter line that is moving faster. Then that age-old question pops into your head: “Should I move to another line, or just stay here and wait it out”

You decide to wait. Know your stress level is going higher and higher.

STOP and THINK

How can I turn this experience into a positive experience? How can I bring my stress level down?

Change your thoughts.

It took me awhile to figure this out, and this is what I tell myself when I am in this situation. Instead of getting stressed out because the line is going slow, think of this situation as a gift. Yes, that is right, a gift.

This is YOUR time. Take a deep breath and relax. You have been given an opportunity to relax and meditate. Just think how wonderful it is that you have been given this time in your busy day to just do nothing. All you need to do is relax, concentrate on breathing, and think and meditate.

What better way to take something that is a stress-builder and turn it into a stress-reducer.

Remember, this is YOUR own personal time to choose the way you are going to think about this situation.

Make the most of this time. We do not get many opportunities to just relax and feel good.

Filling up the Car With Gas

Ok. We have accomplished quite a bit today. But then, when you left the grocery store, you realized you needed to fill up you car with gas.

As you are driving, you start getting stressed. The price of gas is so high, how am I going to afford it? I hate filling up my car. I hate wasting time standing there waiting to fill up the tank.

Again, this is one of those situations that we can turn from negative to positive.

First of all, we have no control over the price of gas. We need to fill our car with gas to get to and from work, and to run errands. We must learn not to get upset about the things we cannot control. Nothing is accomplished by this. Yes, that is right, NOTHING. So, why waste our time getting stressed about things we have no control over.

Think of the time you are taking (not wasting!) to fill up the tank as a “me” time. Remember what we did when we were at the grocery store and the line was moving slow”
Use those same tools in this situation.

Keep those positive thoughts going:

This is my time.

Even thought it is only a few minutes out of my day, I am going to enjoy the
chance to stop, relax, and think positive thoughts.

I hope you have enjoyed reading what I have wrote, and more important if the content of this essay has helped just one person, then my goal has been accomplished.