Most of us were taught from a very early age that it is bad to lie. Of course that is what we were told. At the same time that our parents were telling us this, every-thing around us was doing the opposite. Our parents lied to us, each other, and occasionally a bill collector or two. Why is this? We are taught that to tell a lie is wrong, yet it appears to be a normal part of life. What is the rule? When is it OK to actually lie?

If you want to go by the letter of the law (a figure of speech unless you are under oath), never is the answer. You should always be honest. Being truthful will gain the respect of others and make you a better person. It is the noble thing to do, it is the honorable thing to do. It is the right thing to do. The tricky part to all of this is the fact that we don’t live in a world that is black and white. It isn’t right or wrong, even truth or lies.

Realistically, when is it OK for you to tell a lie? There is a saying, it is “a little white lie” and I would venture that the white part comes from white being good (as in magic) but that is a personal theory; these are the ones that are OK. Tooth fairy, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny etc. are all examples.

The little white lie is the basis of when it is OK to tell a lie. When is this? As mentioned before, telling children things that make holidays fun. There are also many times that something happens when a child is involved that is above what they are able to understand. One of these could be having a baby brother or sister come along. Although in today’s society it isn’t used much at all, for several generations the idea that a baby was delivered by a stork or some other strange method was an accepted story. It wasn’t that parents wanted to lie to their children but explaining sexual reproduction to a 4 year old may be a little awkward. 

That one little word explains a lot. People will tell a little lie to get out of an awkward situation. The problem of course is the fact that if you tell that first lie, most of the time you will have to tell another to cover the first. This then will begin a downward spiral. The more you do it, the easier it will become.

If lying becomes a habit of yours, you will not have the respect or trust of other people. Your “word” will be no good. While it may seem outdated, being able to trust a person at their word is very important. If you do it often, you will soon find yourself lying when you don’t really need to. It might be a total stranger or the closest of loved ones. It may be with good intentions or it may be to try and get yourself out of trouble. Whatever the case is, lying is wrong. That being said, sometimes a little wrong may be needed for the greater good. This is the really tricky part, when is it OK to do that “little wrong”?

For most people, the answer is that “they didn’t want to hurt the person’s feelings”. While this may work on the surface, a case of it looks good on paper but the plan isn’t as simple. The end result of these so-called “little white lies” is that the plan will almost always cause more damage than good. You may get what you desire in the short-term but a lie is a lie. It is going to almost always come back to you. 

Even if you told the lie with the best intentions, to keep up a tradition and hold off on questions until the the child is an appropriate age, eventually you will have to tell the truth. If you told the lie to spare the feelings of an adult, it is almost guaranteed that someone else won’t see it the same way that you do. They will tell the person the truth and you will become the bad guy for lying in the first place.

So, what is the answer to “when is the best time to lie”? Almost every time it is better to tell the truth.