We have all heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” From time to time, we probably have even repeated this saying in an attempt to limit the effect of hurtful words. The truth is that words can hurt in more ways than we might be able to imagine.

Words in the form of negative gossip are a very damaging way that people may hurt others. The website Wikipedia describes gossip as “idle talk or rumors” shared about the personal or private affairs of other people. The idea of “idle talk” implies that the person is speaking on a subject when there is nothing of greater importance to talk about. Many view gossip as harmless because they do not see how they could hurt another person simply by sharing someone’s personal details with others.  

There are two likely scenarios when gossip is being shared. The gossip could be factually true. Or, it could be false. Either way, gossip has the potential to hurt the person who has become the topic of conversation.

If the gossip is true, the information might not be something that the person wanted publicly shared. If the gossip being shared has the ability to embarrass the individual, it was probably information that they would not have told others who did not need to know. The facts might be titillating and interesting, but everyone is not privileged to know the intimate details of another person’s life without permission from that person. By spreading this knowledge, the gossiper does not respect the right to privacy of the individual.

If the gossip is not true, everyone that participated in spreading the gossip or rumors had a part in tearing down that person’s reputation. Spreading untrue gossip is similar to holding a match flame next to clothes soaked in gasoline. Despite the efforts to be careful and not drop the match, the consequences could be disastrous. In the end, the resulting ashes cannot be reconstructed into the clothing that they previously were. In the same way, unconfirmed rumors defame one’s reputation. This happens in such a way, that it is difficult for the person to rebuild from the resulting damage. The gossip is like a blight on the person’s character and it is not possible for the offenders to recall the harm done. In extreme cases, people have been known to commit suicide because they were unable to deal with the damage to their character and reputation.

Once words of gossip leave the mouth of the participant, they have no control over the repercussions of their words. Although people think it harmless, gossip has the ability to hurt people, damage reputations, and possibly ruin lives. Before engaging in gossip, we all need to examine how sharing this information will benefit the person who is the topic of conversation. If we are truthful with ourselves and determine that this information is really just idle talk, we should refrain from disclosing another individual’s private affairs.