Pornography is a stylized depiction of sex, which is a meaningful activity that people enjoy. Porn provides something to admire and appreciate, as well as to fantasize about during sexual activity, either alone or with a partner.

Negative attitudes toward pornography are reflective of negative attitudes toward sex. Pornography can only be “dirty” and “disgusting” if sex is. Many people are told (by parents, church, society, etc.) that sex is beautiful while simultaneously receiving the message, from those same sources, that sex is ugly.

Pornography reflects both sides of this message, often at the same time. It reflects the shame that is attached to sex, but also the fun, and often even the beauty. If sex were treated by society only as beautiful and fun, pornography would have a different face. It would be beautiful. It might also be less common. The more society treats things as disgusting, the more people end up being drawn to them, albeit often secretly.

Most mainstream pornography is designed to appeal to men, hence the common depiction of beautiful women joyously pleasuring men and being pleasured by them. Conversely, porn designed for women is more likely to show a female point of view; it may also be more layered, showing more in depth why the sex is taking place.

Many people in loving, committed relationship enjoy porn, but there are people who are alone and are not having sex, either by choice or by circumstance, for whom porn helps them to feel less alone in their sexuality.

Pornography that falls out of the mainstream, such as that which features dominant and submissive partners, also reflects the reality of sexual activity among consenting adults. Porn can range from rough to romantic, from fun to fetish. Just like sex between consenting adults, not everyone who enjoys pornography will like all pornography, and not everyone who enjoys sex will enjoy all sexual activity.

Where something within pornography is abusive, it should be addressed. Its performers should be able to freely choose their roles and be treated with basic respect, just like all people should be in their work, and they should have recourse if they are mistreated. Child pornography is illegal and abusive and should not be considered a part of pornography in general, just as we would not consider a 10-year-old working 10-hour days in a factory to be a part of the labor force in general. Each is a travesty.