Sex or no Sex before Marriage – Yes

There is no need to consider consensual sex before marriage a novelty. It has been a constant thread of human behavior since time began. If people choose to have sex before they are married, they may or may not continue on to a long life together. Their premarital sex is not the litmus test for a long, and successful relationship. It’s just part of the picture. The phrase itself, sex before marriage implies there may be a social stigma still lurking about, yet it is very clear that two people in love, should be free to choose sex before marriage without the penalty of any social stigma.

We think of sex before marriage as a choice. There have been societies, such as ancient Rome, where maidens were given over to prostitution before they were considered candidates for marriage and a family. It was reasoned they had to be tested, to insure their partnership abilities, and their fecundity. In many cases, the maiden had no choice at all. It was a family decision. It can get worse than that.

According to the work of Henriques Fernandez, a contemporary of Alfred Kinsey, there were smaller social groups scattered throughout the world with ever more bizarre trials for their maiden daughters. Dr. Fernandez taught at the University of Leeds in England, and wrote a series of books on his research into sexual mores. Of course, morality changes with the times, and the places. Our current frame of reference has at the one end a religious measure of choice, and at the other a choice based on social freedoms. There really cannot be just one way to look at this subject, although we consider it a choice of the principals, there are many other societies where it is the family choice that dominates.

Today, considering our social choices have evolved considerably during the past thirty years, people ought to be able to choose sex before marriage without any further consequence to their social standing. Promiscuity however, is quite another story altogether. Sex before marriage yes, and frequent sex before marriage may indicate a whole other reflection of poor judgement. Habitual sex before marriage, as a casual test of partners, is not likely a prudent choice for either men or women. It is a fact that multiple partners can initiate health problems for women.

If two people are in love, and their belief systems are similar enough to allow them the choice, they should be able to have sex before marriage without fear of judgement or social stigma.