Resolve to make 2011 a wonderful year.

First and foremost, resolve to give yourself permission to make vows and accept that you may not keep them. This does not necessarily mean you have to give them up altogether.  For instance, if you resolve to lose weight, and then spiral out of control with all the abundance and temptation that will surround you from New Year’s day, through Super Bowl parties, and on through to all the chocolates of Valentine’s day, give yourself permission to always provide a second chance.  This first resolution will set the tone for every other beneficial improvement you plan for yourself.  It will allow you to accept and forgive that you, too, are human.

Second in line, if you wish to help yourself and others, please do the same for them and their resolutions. Vow to be a tiny bit more patient. Strive to give them more time and space to become what they wish. Give them your non-judgmental interference.  This one is much more difficult than it appears at the time we may voice it.

Third of all, in keeping with helping yourself improve through helping others; make a real effort to appreciate everything and everyone with whom you have any kind of relationship.  That is, when you are thirsty, and you quench your thirst, make a brief but mental “thank you” to the river, and or spring, from which your body creating and quenching water came to you.  Soon you will find you can do this with trees, the sky, your children, your breakfast, your spouse, and over time, even those you consider are putting obstacles and challenges in your way.  We need some challenges to grow!

Fourth of all, resolve to de clutter your life. As with number three above, appreciation, to de-clutter, will help you and your physical environment, but it will even more dramatically impact your mental and emotional territory of the heart and mind. We all tend to have too much junk to collect, care for, keep track of, and eventually dispose of; you will feel free and light as a result. Please resolve to give these things to someone who can really use them, if you no longer are using them, and/or to return them to the earth in a respectful and non-contaminating way.

Number five is about your relationship to your body and others.  Do you wish to quit smoking, quite drinking, take fewer drugs, walk more, or any other habit you wish to create?  As with number one, wherein we spoke about weight loss, this one is now more realistic because you have allowed yourself to accept that you will love yourself enough to give it a second chance, or as many chances as you need. The best way to fulfill number five, and your relationship to your own body, is to recognize you are not alone. You can make a non-smoking pact with another smoker, or a walking schedule with a new friend who also wishes to do their best at this. A word of caution, is due here however.  Sometimes when we make these vows with the most important person in our lives it often backfires. Such as when you and your spouse try to quit smoking, or drive less.  Often this tends to turn into the personal nagging and power struggle that all our most significant relationships are vulnerable to having created within them. So, please for number five, consider making a number five and a half here, to begin again with someone you love in a healthy habit, stay on the behavior itself, even if you have to try over and over, and leave the personal attacks out of it!

Number six is about what you model to others. If you have small kids, or even people who are already dead set in their “unhealthy” habits, engage with them with fun and active interaction. Collect cans for nickels for example, or barter window washing for a laundry day.  When we connect in these ways we find new talents to not just appreciate within ourselves, but to share with others. This creates a vital connection, and the connection is the true habit we are trying to resolve in all our personal lives.

Number seven is to make dates. Make dates with your spouse, or your kids, or even a new person to whom you feel you are willing to have the courage to reach out toward. If you are insecure, (like most of us humans) about putting yourself out there, accept it and plow right through to an honest invitation to another to do something together that is not specifically work related, or that has potential to just spend quiet hours together feeling presence, but not pressure.

Number eight is for you to resolve to re-think number one, and see how it applies in your every day, work, play, and living life. Are you truly giving yourself ample permission to fail on some days, and succeed on others?  If not, realize that to fail is to have learned a lesson about challenges and perseverance, so there is actually no “failure” involved.

Number nine is to try something you have never ever done before.  You may decide to do something as huge as climbing a mountain, or as small as planting a flower.  Either way, when we challenge ourselves to do something new, we step out of monotony and into a new creative part of ourselves we many not have even known is there. You may find that mountain climbing is not for you, or that  your planting  of petunias results in dead flowers. That is okay. You will find other things to try, and sooner or later you will find something that astonishes you with how much you love it. Then you may share this new found passion with someone else, be it a pet, a lover, or even a tree in the park.

Number Ten is to smile.  Even when you are low, smile at others. Engage with them with the smallest gesture of human connection. Make eye contact, and say something if you like, but don’t feel like you have to make everyone on earth love you, or even like you. A smile is the easiest thing to give, and even if they do not realize it, people will appreciate it in the long term overall scheme of things. You do not have to smile if you are truly miserable, or doing grief work, but even trying to smile, if you can add just a fraction of sincerity in upturning your mouth at the sight of something, or someone, will help you feel better.  It is not magical thinking, or even being overly positive that you should expect of yourself, but just a simple and genuine smile when you can sincerely give that much of yourself.