MY LIFE AS A HONKY-TONK WOMAN

Way back when, an unaccompanied woman frequenting a public house, as they were referred to then, was automatically perceived as a prostitute. It was actually a group of married women (fearing their husbands’ infidelity) who instigated legislation requiring females to be escorted by a man to gain entrance to these establishments. Most of these pubs also retained a separate room for men, where no women were allowed at all.

Nowadays, an unaccompanied woman is free to go pretty much anywhere she likes, but there is still a social stigma attached where bars and nightclubs are concerned. I make a distinction between these two venues because a bar (or honky-tonk) usually denotes the presence of live entertainers, whereas a nightclub normally offers only piped-in music. In the latter case, the social atmosphere tends to be oriented towards interpersonal conversation among its patrons. In a honky-tonk, patrons are usually focused on the live performance taking place. Either place might accommodate patrons who want to dance.

Being passionate about music, but awkward in situations encouraging random conversation with strangers, I have always felt more comfortable in bars. I have been frequenting them by myself since I turned 18 (the legal drinking age in Canada in the early ’70s). Strangely enough, my mother, who is not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination, had absolutely no objections to this. When questioned by people (mostly of the male variety) why I am there, my answer is always the same - the live music. When more delicately questioned why I am there alone, I reply that I prefer it that way. It’s not that I don’t have friends; they simply don’t like hanging out in bars, no matter how classy a particular venue might be. They respect my right to go there, and I respect their right to amuse themselves in some other fashion.

Most people I meet in bars are doubtful that my solo presence is strictly motivated by the live performances. To be honest, I suppose this is correct. I do like meeting new people, male and female, particularly those who also enjoy this kind of social environment, but I hate being perceived as a slut, a prostitute, or even a lonely, vulnerable woman easily manipulated into a controlling relationship. I know many other women who would like to go out, have a drink or two and listen to live music unaccompanied, but they are afraid of being similarly perceived.

The women who originally frequented taverns were likely prostituting themselves, but their presence in bars today may definitely have a much different intention. In my own case, I started writing about the live performances I witnessed, which inadvertently led to careers as a freelance arts & entertainment writer and broadcaster!