If this goes on any longer I am going to pass out’.

We have all been there. Friend of a friend getting married. You buy that dress. Sure it fit the day I bought it’ you tell your friends. What you don’t tell them is that it took you half an hour to fit into the dress and twice as long to get out of it. You know that the dress together with the bra (the one that lifts and separates), slimmer pants (where does the bulge really go?) and tights (wow! I knew I never had big thighs) and all will be just fine. Plus a week before the event you will stick to liquids.

The big day comes and of course you never stuck to that liquid diet or even touched your gym bag. After all curves are in and cellulite is hereditary you tell yourself. Sure you get into the dress alright but realise that for the next 10 hrs activity is restricted to standing with your stomach pulled in at all times. If you dare to sit then you had better sit where there is easy access to your table and the ladies. Soon you realise what a logistic nightmare you have got yourself into and to top it off you have just found out that HE is going to be there. What is a girl to do?

I have lost count of the times I have played this scenario out in real life. It may seem trivial but years of it left me worse off than I realised. When I look at some of the pictures my face always seems contorted as if I must have been in a lot of pain. Why nobody took me aside and slapped some sense into me God only knows.

Was it a really a trivial matter? I think not. Not only did I not want to acknowledge what my body really looked like. I failed to realise that one size does not fit all’.

Last year for the first time I looked at myself in the mirror naked with eyes wide open. Yes from top to toe..back to front. I was shocked. I had been deceiving myself. Years of squinting in the mirror with dimmed lights just looking at my face only had fooled me into thinking I wasn’t really that big. The truth is I am. I’m not a small girl at all. Although well proportioned my mind says size 14 my body says sizes 16, 18 and 20 dependant on time of the month and which store I encounter. I can do skirts and as I believe in looking after the environment do not wear them short. I have learnt the painful lesson about trousers and lycra. In short I wear my trousers long, dark and not fitted. As for colours I have discovered that black is not the only colour that suits me.

Learning what really fits you actually starts with coming to terms with who you are from the inside out’. There is no instant fix, a makeover is purely like adding lip gloss (looks good when you put in on but will fade in time). It’s a lifelong discovery that is actually a lot of fun.

So for those like me who have found the courage to step out of line in search for something better..keep the faith it’s always about progress. You may stumble, even fall just know that there are others behind you cheering you on.

For those who want to start and are scaredit only takes one step at a time. It’s your own raceat your own time. Always remember that.

Till next time

d’Amaka