I’m an over analyzer. I’m an observer. So when I notice things like the fact that even with the progression of feminism in the past years there is still an abundance of gender inequality in our society - I ask the people around me, “do you notice this?” “Does this bother you?” The results of my questioning are astounding. We live in a society filled with left-over odds and ends of gender roles and expectations; littered with attacks on women’s self-esteem and standards for men to live up to, and nobody seems to give a damn. Not only do they not care, but they either pretend or really do believe that it’s not a problem or the problem doesn’t exist.

So really, what is with the taboo on women’s nipples? If you think there isn’t one, look up “taboo on women’s nipples” on google. One of the things that show up as a result is “Nipples. Uncensored. Watch live sexy models expose their nipples.” I would like to call to everyone’s attention the fact that men have them too! It’s actually the one part of the breast that is similar to the male anatomy- yet the one part that always gets made a big deal about; the part that gets bleeped, *ed, or whatever else out. The problem with this is that people grow up without any knowledge of what a real breast looks like. It’s so taboo; even their own mothers are embarrassed if they are seen. There are women in other countries that aren’t as concerned. For example, in Europe it is common for women to be topless on the beach; no big deal. Or the women in countries of Africa such as Mali, where it is common to see breasts and breast-feeding in public, who laughed hysterically at the idea of men being fascinated with breasts. They replied; “You mean, men act like babies?” (www.007b.com) Most twelve and thirteen year olds in North America’s ideas and impressions of what a breast looks like comes from the media maybe; a porn video here and there. That’s a great way to shape our children’s view of themselves and each other. So that when the females start to develop breasts they compare them-selves to models, are vulnerable to attacks from the media and end up hating their body, and males become obsessed with an inaccurate picture of what most women with natural bodies look like. This is where we start to hand over a money-making scheme to those people who want to benefit from other people’s insecurities. It gives the porn industry something to exploit in a degrading fashion and gives the ad industry just about a thousand ways to make women feel that they are just inadequate enough to buy one of their products.

Usually, the advertisements that I see are the kind that manipulate your every desire; everything you think you need and everything you think you want may just be an example of brain-washing. It’s so easily done because we have a society that is entirely set up for insecurities. Now I’m not saying that every time anybody wants something or buys something it means they are brain-washed. I’m just asking that people spend some time thinking about their desires; and why they want them. Is it because of an insecurity that has been hammered into you? Or is it something you really want? It seems like the desires that they put into us are really gender-based. Girls are supposed to be pretty. And they have us believe that there is a very specific look that is pretty; and if you don’t have that look, you need all of these things like makeup, push-up bras, and maybe even plastic surgery to get it. Boys need to impress these girls by having stuff. Lots of stuff to show your wealth will impress the girls. Boys also need to be masculine and strong; because girls need to feel protected and a scrawny boy can’t possibly do that. So what do boys need? Boys need big muscles and fancy cars and big screen televisions. They have a solution for all of our problems. I believe that their solutions are bullshit. If we ever want to really be happy, we’re probably going to need to break free from all of that and really do some honest soul-searching, to become the people that we really want to be.

Why are men not allowed to cry? This is probably one of the most obvious gender issues around. Every single man I have ever met in my life has fought crying until the absolute end. I have met men that are not masculine at all and don’t think that masculinity is necessary but still won’t cry. I also know quite a few females that if they were to see a male crying; they would snicker or crack a joke probably because they found it uncomfortable to see. It seems like from a very young age; most men are taught on a subconscious level to express their emotions with either anger or with stoicism. Men in our society are forced to live basically one way; the tough way. I had an English teacher once that was discussing the same subject and as she made a little dancing maneuver while speaking, said “if I were a man would that have just been acceptable?” and I thought it very interesting of her to say. It seems like men can’t be anything besides tough and stern without being considered fruity or at the very least corky. I have known several men that weren’t gay at all but had a slightly feminine way of moving and speaking and they were harassed and made fun of all throughout high school for being gay; consistently being called “faggot” even when they had girlfriends. Men shouldn’t be harassed for being who they are if they have a feminine side. Femininity and masculinity are man-made concepts that likely have nothing to do with the actual natural roles of females and males in life. The underlying problem is also that even if the man actually was gay, he shouldn’t be harassed. Nobody deserves to be targeted as a way for others to drown out their own insecurities.

Men are also not given the freedom to wear what they choose. Even though we supposedly have the right to choose how we dress; if a man walks out in public with a dress on or even in some cases too tightly fitting pants they once again get tormented for being gay which is usually entirely false. The public’s view of transvestitism is ridiculous compared to the reality. What most people generalize as a transvestite is what should be called a drag queen. A drag queen is a homosexual man who likes to exaggerate female aesthetics and usually performs at gay clubs or bars. The average transvestite is a heterosexual man, usually married with a family, who simply likes to dress in women’s clothing. It is completely natural, and they usually feel a strong affinity towards it since childhood. They are forced to keep this a secret because of the fear of being considered gay or being disowned by their families. It is usually a very painful process for them, because they have to keep a big part of their life a secret from the people they love most. Might the lives of these people become easier if we didn’t have specified dress codes for men and women? Or if our society as a whole could learn to accept people for what they are? I definitely think so.

If we could live in a society where people accepted everyone else for what they are and did not use gender as a means to categorize what people should be or what people are, I believe our lives would be improved in more ways then one. People wouldn’t doubt themselves for what they felt at the center of their being, and could choose to be as masculine or feminine as they desired based on their own choice instead of what they think they should be based on expectations. Nobody would have to pretend anymore and when that is eliminated from the equation, the idea of happiness becomes far more likely in our lives. A society without gender roles would eliminate one more type of discrimination, and create a more peaceful way of living.