There really are only three reasons for women to fear feminism. The first reason is they do not really understand what feminism is all about, the second reason is that they fear they will be forced to become a “feminist” whether they want to be a feminist or not, and the last reason is that they fear they will lose more than they will gain.

Let’s take a look at each of the reasons why some women fear feminism. The first reasons stems from not knowing what feminism is all about. They have heard the whispers and stories about “feminists”. They have heard stereotypes - they heard that feminists are women pretending to be men, lesbians, men haters, etc. They have heard that no “real woman” would ever want to be a feminist. They have heard these stories from many sources: parents and other family members, friends, and religious leaders. But, they have not actually done any basic research to find out what “feminism” is.

The actual definition of “feminism” is: feminism believes in the political, economic, and social equality of men and women.

Feminism is all about equal opportunities for both men and women. It means that both men and women can hold all political offices. Both men and women can own property and be employed in any job they are capable of handling. Both men and women are equally able to get a good education Both men and women have no restrictions that are based solely on gender. In other words, men can become nurses, hairdressers, and homemakers if they wish to do so and women can become astronauts, nuclear physicists, and doctors if they wish to do so,

When you actually know that feminism is all about - equal opportunity for every person, it is a lot less scary. It also lets you understand that not all feminists are women; men are feminists too.

The second reason some women fear feminism is that they fear they will be forced to become a “feminist”. No one is going to force them to do anything. They will not be forced to go out and get a job if they do not want to get a job. If they wish to stick to their beliefs that a woman’s place is in the home and a man has to go out and work to support the family; no one is going to try to force them to change their mind. However, feminists will do their best to make sure that if they ever do change their mind the opportunities will still be there for them and their children to utilize if they wish.

This is completely opposite to the gender roles both men and women have previously been forced into or are currently being forced into. Many societies still are forcing both men and women into gender roles today. Some of these societies are doing it because of tradition and others because of religion. The problem with these societies is that not every person fits into these gender stereotypes. People of either gender who are forced into a role that does not fit them are miserable and unhappy their entire life and they spread that misery to others around them. It also stunts the society and makes it less productive. Even a woman who is happy in the role of a homemaker can be a more effective and efficient homemaker if she has a good education behind her. She will have a better understanding of childcare, nutrition, household finance, and can assist children with homework assignments improving the children’s education.

The last reason some women fear feminism is that they fear they will lose more than they gain.

They fear that people will have higher expectations of them. People might actually expect them to get jobs, have careers, etc. These are the same expectations we have had of men over the centuries and it can be scary trying to live up to the expectations of others for both men and women.

They fear the inability to use gender to hide behind. If they have equal opportunities and people expect actual results from them they can no longer use the excuse that they are women to get away with things. In many societies, women are expected to have less control over their emotions and because of this society has excused women who misbehave and given them lighter penalties for the same offenses than a man would have received. Some societies actually penalize men for the bad behavior of “their” women and as a result some men will don dresses and pretend to be women so they can get away with bad behavior.

The loss of chivalry is also part of this fear. Chivalry is a practice which started many centuries ago and it places women on a pedestal only expecting women to “look pretty” and not bother themselves with anything. It includes practices like: letting a lady go first, opening doors for a woman, giving up a seat to a woman (simply because she is female), buying drinks and paying for all dates.

In my opinion, it is time for something called “common courtesy ” to replace chivalry. With common courtesy, anyone can open and hold a door for any other person regardless of gender; especially if the other person has their hands full. Any person can and should give up a seat to any person who is ill, old, or very pregnant. Buying drinks and paying for dates; unless one person has a lot more money and can easily afford it, dates are the responsibility of the person who does the asking unless it is clearly stated that they expect the date to be “dutch”. And, men enjoy having someone buy them a drink as much as the next person.

I actually had a woman tell me that feminism was killing romance because most men expected her to go dutch on a first date. I told her that feminism was actually increasing the opportunities for romance because now both the man and woman are responsible for injecting romance into the relationship instead of leaving it up to the man (some of whom do not have a romantic bone in their body). I explained that I believe that whoever asks the other person out is responsible for paying for the date unless they clearly state the date will be “dutch”. This lets both people ask the other person out on dates that they might find interesting and lets them find out more about each other. Romantic dates do not have to be expensive either; they can be as simple as a picnic, a homemade meal, or watching the stars and listening to music. Both parties can inject romance by sending romantic notes and sending each other small gifts. Sure women like to get flowers; but, so do some men and if they don’t like flowers they usually will like a bottle of wine or a six pack of their favorite beer. By the time I finished, she responded that she had “never thought about it that way”; since then she has gotten way past “first dates” and is having a lot more fun in her relationships.

Feminism is not something to be feared. It should be taken up and accepted by every man, woman, and child; because, it will allow everyone to live their lives to the fullest and be happy in the roles they have chosen instead of just accepting the roles they have been assigned.