When I was back in DC, I used to have this running joke with a friend of mine about “successful black man syndrome”. The phrase was intended to describe what we recognized as a collateral effect of the plight of black men in our society. Now that I’ve been removed from DC for a while and been transplanted here in Cincinnati, OH, the “syndrome” has become even more pronounced.

It is pretty well accepted as fact that black men are being out-performed both academically and professionally by the white majority, but also, by black women. In undergrad, as I progressed in my major and courses became more difficult, the students who tended to stand out were female. And eventually, in law school at Howard, my class was probably only 1/3 male. Of that number, very few men were at the top of the class. However, for the few who did well, the collateral effect is that they became a hot commodity.

A black male who is on top of his game is a rarity, and they recognized this. They might be short, not very attractive, and have no talent for conversation, but they were doing well otherwise. Therefore, their stock would skyrocket. In the microcosm of law school where the average female student is approaching her 30s and realizing that the law firm is not necessarily a social haven for eligible black men, her pool was quickly drained until she is left with the choice of the statistical likelihood of spinsterdom or to settle for the few, and suddenly desirable successful black men in her class.

This phenomenon would quickly prompt the successful black man to decide that there is little benefit from acting right. Chivalry, consideration and basic respect were devalued commodities for the successful black man because he became the prize and otherwise sensible black women are pitted against one another for a chance to win him over. Even for the man who had a tendency to treat women well, there was very little incentive. Why take a girl out to dinner when she asks if its ok to come over and cook? Why call the nice girl and listen to her stresses when there are 5 other girls blowing up his phone asking him if its ok for them to come by whey they finish studying late at night?

Honestly, you can’t really blame the successful black man. He’s worked hard to get to where he is, and this is the fruit of his labor. Back then you didn’t want him and now hes hot. . . . This isn’t just my experience in law school. It’s true of med students, pharmacy students, grad students in general, and to some extent, even undergraduate students. An educated black man is rare. Here in Cincinnati, I can probably count the number of eligible black male professionals on one hand. And I see the disproportionate number of black women vying for a spot in their cell phone rotations.

So the question is what’s the problem? Why aren’t black men achieving? What can be done to change it? Are black women willing to date a man outside of her class? ie. white collar dating blue collar. And I think the most interesting question is, if you’re a successful black man, and the world is apparently at your feet, what is your incentive for leveling the playing field by helping other black men to get to where you are?