In any discussion around racism, sexism and other forms of social oppression context is very important. Many who enjoy the majority status and wish to keep it that way more and more often employ the tactic of taking things out of context to make their arguments. Let me give you an example of how changing context can change feelings and judgments about a situation.

Suppose I told you that a disheveled and dirty woman ran into a room and started yelling and shouting at a man for no apparent reason who was enjoying his dinner with his wife. Most of you would assume that this woman was crazy, or imbalanced or that there was something wrong with her. Now let me put it into context. What if the woman had just discovered that this man had sexually molested her young daughter and had ran straight from her house to the restaurant in the rain, the sympathy is now firmly in the corner of the woman, her behavior and appearance now makes sense.

What if I then told you that the child had lied to her mother and the man was innocent and went to jail for many years because of this, sympathy now back squarely with the man, and what if I told you went on to tell you that the man while innocent of that particular crime, had raped and murdered a number of young homosexual men? Hmmm I am guessing that now there is some dichotomy on how people feel about him this is most likely related to your own personal feelings towards homosexual men.

My point with all this is that any situation must be viewed in the proper context if reasonably accurate judgments are to be made on that particular situation, and that this is especially important in discussions around social biases like racism. In many societies there are specific terms that are used to intimidate and harass others based on ethnic origin, gender, sexuality, culture and so on. The psychological impact of these terms is greater the greater the social inequality of the person using the term vs the person on the receiving end. Thus a child who is at the bottom of the social ladder, who is constantly treated differently and in a negative manner due to their race, or gender, cultural origin, or class is going to react more strongly to a slur than a child who has never received this kind of treatment.

This slur is also going to be received differently depending on who is making this slur. More hurt and pain can be expected, if the slur is from a teacher, than from a fellow student, from an adult rather than a child, from a member of the oppressing group rather than from a co-member within the same group. Basically, the more the perceived power of the person making the slur, the more the slur will generate feelings of anger and hurt.

For example if a woman is called sweetheart by their husband or father this is a term of endearment and usually appreciated, but if they are called that by their boss, it is a form of sexual harassment, a put down a signal that they are not considered an equal and usually received in anger. If a white man says to his son “boy get over here” it has a whole different meaning than if a racist white man in the south calls out to an adult black man in the American south and says “boy get over here” It is all about context!

If you remove context from the above situations then you can argue that there is no difference in those situations, but if you take into account the years of sexual and racial tensions and discrimination in the US, then it is obvious that there are differences in those situation and that if used improperly these terms can result in anger on the receiving end. Many in the majority groups often argue that language has become a minefield that is hard for them to navigate, I can sympathize on one level, but would counter argue that it is the very behavior of those majority groups resulting in oppression of others within their societies that have led to this situation so I can only sympathize so much!

All of the above is to explain why I a black woman who hates the word “Nigger” would argue that not only should it not be banned, but that it’s use in some situations can be accepted while clearly not in others.

Why would I not want it to be banned? I certainly would rather never hear it as, like with the southern flag found on so many license plates in the south It is a reminder to me that there are those that hate me for no other reason than the color of my skin, who would deny me equal treatment due to that, who would love to deny me jobs, and in extreme cases would do me harm if given the chance and would expect to get away with it. That there are some that see me a little more than an animal, and that the fact that I am well educated, financially stable, intelligent and firmly middle class, would be ignored and at the end of the day, all that would be looked at is the color of my skin, and I am not talking about 100 years ago, or even 40, I am talking about today.

I argue here that that the word “Nigger” should not be banned. I feel that banning language never really works, the real solution is to move towards a society where nobody in the majority would dream of using slurs against a minority (for this is where the real damage occurs), and that the minority is so free from the effects of bias that even if they heard it it would not cause the same psychological wounds as felt by a minority that has been constantly reminded in a negative way that they are not perceived to be as ‘good’ as those in the majority.

Banning the word without banning the behavior, or racial context that made the word have so much power, makes little sense as other words will be created to replace the one that was banned. Also you would not want to ban the word sweetheart, or honey because some use it in a negative way to harass and intimidate (for that is the way these words are used when the intention is to belittle the other and that is why these words cause so much hurt when uttered especially from a member of the majority group), or the word “boy” because some use it in a racist manner.

The same can be said for the word “Nigger”, by putting the word in the context of the slave trading, lynching and the segregationist history of the United states, the reason this word causes hurt is becomes plainly (painfully) obvious, as is the expectation that a white person using this word towards a black person would result in more psychological harm than if the word is used by a black person towards another black person with the implicit understanding that this is not a put down by a racial majority, but a slang term now adopted by that group.

There was a move a while back for minorities and women to reclaim some of the words that have been used as slurs, the most obvious are the terms “Bitch” and “Nigger” Women decided to change the connotations of the word “Bitch” and make them positive rather than negative, i.e. A “Bitch” can be looked at as a strong woman that stands up for herself against men (which is usually the situation when this word is thrown out) and as such is now a compliment rather than an insult. Blacks decided to defuse the word by using it as a substitute for the word black, this if “Nigger” means black, and there is nothing wrong with being black, rather it is a good thing to be black, then the word “Nigger” is no longer a negative word, and causes less pain.

Perhaps if black children, especially those who are disadvantaged feel, they that they no longer feel the sting of the word “Nigger” as much because they hear it every day from sources they KNOW don’t think they are inferior because of their race, then they are better able to handle the pain, not feel as hurt when that term is used in a debasing manner by a racist white person. Allowing them to react with yes anger, but that anger is proportional to the situation and does not get out of hand.

I use neither term “Bitch” or “Nigger” as I don’t really think I am inferior to anyone else, thus when those terms are used against me, I tend to assume that the person using them against me in anger has run out of logical arguments and has resorted to name calling, this tends to give me pleasure as it is a sure sign that I have won the argument. It also does tell me something about that person and that they would choose to use racist or sexist terms rather than generic insults, and it reminds me that certain feelings are still alive and well in the US.

I think that often people forget that like rape, sexism and racism are about power not really about sex, or race. It is one person (or people) trying to empower themselves by dehumanizing others. It is a form of aggression and as such results in the same psychological damage as other forms of aggression. It is really all about power, wanting to keep it and wanting to prevent others from getting it.

The idea of freedom of speech is often misunderstood. Freedom of speech does not mean that everyone can say anything they like anywhere. It simply means that the government cannot curtail our freedom to speak out against it, it can however curtail our use of certain language in certain places. I can for example write a blog and not allow anyone who uses the word “Nigger” in a negative way (as opposed to as part of a discussion about the term) to post to my blog. They could sue, but I would win the case as I have the right to in effect, not hear certain speech if I don’t want to. By the same argument, I should be able to go to work without being called either a “Bitch” or a “Nigger” by my boss or coworkers.

Thus banning the word would actually have no effect on freedom of speech in the legal sense. It might however present some logistical problems. What if I write an essay about the origins of the word, would I be fined, or go to jail? And in the context of race and racism in our country, what would is say if the white majority and black elite in this country would say to young poor blacks that it is now illegal for you to use a term that is now part of your dialect?

If a group of whites in the south are beating up a black person who was thought to date a white woman and while they are doing so they are using racially charged profanities including the word “Nigger” it is very different situation from a group of black men using the word amongst themselves in casual conversation. But what if a unknown white man walks up to the group and uses the same term (knowing the racially charged history of this country)? They better have a good explanation for doing so, or it might result in a group of black men beating up a white person and shouting profanities against him.

Can either group be excused? Personally I don’t think so. However, putting both the situations into context can at least provide some explanation as to the motives behind both behaviors. Will banning the word “Nigger” address either of the two problems, again I don’t think so. Banning racism might!