Since Hillary Clinton’s famous line two decades ago that she could have stayed home baking cookies rather than pursue a career, the role of women in American society has been openly contested and coined “mommy wars.” Now, in 2012, another Hilary, this time Hilary Rosen, has forced the cultural question of the value of women based on their decision to be stay-at-home mothers or have a career.

To women who have raised children into adulthood during the time period between the Hilary’s, this topic is of particular interest. They have the advantage of both being able to recall how they were raised and to see the outcome from their own choices regarding child-rearing.

But a closer look at the comments by Hilary Rosen on CNN on April 11, reveals that Hilary Rosen had a different kind of gripe against Ann Romney than what appeared on the surface. Her comment about Ann Romney was that the wife of the presumed GOP presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, wasn’t qualified to address economic issues because she has “never worked a day in her life. She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of women in this country are facing.”

And neither has Hilary Rosen. Hilary Rosen is a lesbian and adopted children with her former partner. She is a single mom.

She has never had to face the humbling choice for many married American mothers which may or may not be based on economics. Women in America still make approximately seventy-three cents for every dollar that men make and may have to decide if making less than their husbands do is worth giving up the sweet satisfaction of raising their own children and replacing it with the guilt of relegating them to latch-key status, the care of a relative or a paid stranger. Could it be that some of Hilary Rosen’s wrath was aimed not only at the lack of economic necessity for Ann Romney to work but the fact that as a lesbian mother, Hilary Rosen never had the opportunity to consider whether her career had to be placed on the back burner because she made less money than her husband? Ironically, with all the decisions that Hilary Rosen has made in her life, she has denied herself the choice of whether to sacrifice career for a family.

Maybe her being denied that choice because of her decisions is what this mommy war is all about – not about demonizing women whose husbands are so wealthy they don’t ever have to consider whether they need to work for economic reasons.

All of the conservative backlash or liberal lack of support cannot be as compelling as Hilary Rosen’s facing the consequences of the freedom afforded by this country: her right to choose the sex of her partner and deal with the ramifications of her choice.