Think of the phrase “ empowered woman”. What does that entail exactly? What does it mean to be a woman of power or at least feel like you are empowered in your own life?

The roles of women have changed and morphed so often over the last forty years that what makes a woman feel empowered is different today than it was in the sixties. What may make one woman feel empowered may not make a bit of difference to someone else.

In the late 1950’s and early sixties, women made almost no decisions on their own. The thought of them hiring a contractor on their own was unheard of. Going out anywhere on their own required approval of their husband and all household decisions were the man’s domain. A woman could voice her opinion, but final say was ultimately, almost exclusively, the husbands.

Today for the most part, women handle most of the decisions, they will often talk things over with their husbands if they are married, but most decisions on what goes on in the house, what she does with her job and everything to do with the kids school will be hers. Last year statistically, 27% of women ages 30-34 have never been married, 17.9% of women ages 50 to 54 are divorced, and 39.9% of women over 65 are widows. In 1970, 5.6% of women lived alone and in 2010, 11.8% of women live alone. Women are empowered by necessity and determination. Do they necessarily feel empowered? Not a lot of them.

What makes the difference in whether a woman feels empowered is her view on life. Feeling in control of your life as opposed to having life happen to you. What the basis of empowerment comes from is self-esteem. So to feel empowered, you feel strong, valid, as though you have authority over your life. Unless you have the self-esteem to allow that to happen, the feeling of empowerment will always elude you.

So how do you become empowered? The primary source has to be you, it has to start with self-examination. Education is a good place to start. Learning and growing at any age will help validate you as the intelligent person you may know you are deep down, but sometimes don’t feel like. Getting a degree helps your self-esteem, proves your tenacity and shows others that you are as bright if not brighter than they are. Just the sense of accomplishment makes a difference in how you feel about yourself.

Convincing yourself that you are in control of your life and that things that happen to you in life only happen because you have allowed it, is a big realization. Understanding that you are completely and solely responsible for your life and if something’s wrong with it, it is up to you and you alone to make the necessary changes to correct the issue. It’s taking responsibility for every aspect of your life, good and bad. It’s taking the necessary steps to remove the parts of your life that are detrimental and building on what works.

It sounds easy, but there is nothing easy about it. It’s not a week long fix, it’s a habit you must force yourself into, then it will start to become easier. It’s sometimes small steps in the right direction, one at a time. I once heard someone say that “if you are going through hell….. keep going.” The only thing you can count on in life is that it will never stay the same. It is constantly changing, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but no matter how bad it gets, keep in mind it won’t always be that way. Everything changes, you just put one foot in front of the other until you are out of the darkness.

So start today, start tomorrow morning, but start. Get out of bed every morning and say to yourself; “I am beautiful, I am strong, I am capable, I control my life. I will be happy and good things will come to me.” Give thanks for the good things in your life, everyone has them and we tend to forget them or overlook them. Giving thanks reminds you of your blessings and puts a positive feeling into the universe and into your day. Look for the good in life and good will find you. By nature happy, strong people are drawn to happy, strong people.

Your empowerment depends on you, your attitude and how you view your world. It’s your choice.