People considering immigration to Canada may get the idea that everyone they talk to has experienced an alternate reality of this vast, ambiguous nation. Are Canadians welcoming of immigrants? Is it easy to find employment? Is healthcare working well? Ask any ten Canadians and you will get at least twelve opinions. Canadians are a fascinating bunch of schizophrenics.

The Canadian national identity is best described as an identity crisis. They take great pride in their humility. They are best known for not being American. The designation “American” has been monopolized by citizens of the United States of America, even though the North American continent is shared by three nations – Canada, Mexico, and the United States. Then there is Central America and South America as well. Everyone are  Americans, really.

The national game is hockey. Every kid with a pair of skates and a hockey stick dreams about making it into the National Hockey League. The problem is that the professional hockey players are all being lured to the United States. Canada can’t afford to pay them anymore. There are only six Canadian teams left in the NHL, and twenty-six American teams.

Hockey players are not the only ones who leave Canada to make it big in the States. Anyone here who dreams of fame and fortune has to go to the United States first and gain celebrity status there. Then Canadians can denounce them for selling out and leaving Canada. Celine Dion, Michael J. Fox, Howie Mandel, Shannon Tweed – all sellouts.

Canada is a nation of immigrants. Everyone living here (except the First Nations people) came from somewhere else. They pride themselves on their multi-culturalism.  While the United States is often described as a melting pot, Canada is a mosaic. Every town, it seems, has a summer festival to celebrate the cultural traditions of their founders. When asked their heritage, most Canadians will name the country that their great-grandparents came from. If you answer “Canadian,” the inquirer will likely say, “yes, but where are you from, originally?”

A friend of this writer was born in Ireland. Her family came here when she was three, so she didn’t have much say in the discussion about their destination, but they had narrowed down the choice to either Australia or Canada. During the long, cold winters, she often wonders why they picked Canada.

At least in Canada, you have very few poisonous snakes and other assorted nasty critters. They don’t survive here. The most dangerous Canadian animal is the deer. Hundreds of people die every year from traffic accidents caused by deer who wander onto the roads.

Canada is a great country. They tend to have a self-depricating humour, and much of this article is tongue in cheek. But they do have much to offer immigrants who are looking for a new home. They have ethnic diversity, geographical diversity, and a climate that changes every ten minutes or so. It is a beautiful land, with an abundance of food and plenty of clean water. They have so much, and theyt do often take their blessings for granted. This writer is very thankful that her great-grandparents chose to come to Canada.