Recently, I heard a sad joke about the plight of women in Afghanistan. It was about a female American reporter who visited Afghanistan a number of years ago. In those dark days, wives were required to walk about a dozen paces behind their husbands whenever in public. After the fall of the Taliban, this same American female reporter returned to Afghanistan. She noticed an amazing widespread transformation: wives no longer meekly followed their husbands. In fact, wives now walked about a dozen paces ahead of their husbands, who seemed to accept it without reservation. The American woman was astounded. She was elated. She approached one of these burqa-clad women and excitedly asked, “Tell me, what wonderful changes in Afghan society have so empowered women to lead their husbands around?” The Afghan woman answered, “Land mines!”

We hear much of the ghastly status of women in Afghanistan. We hear that they are deprived of dignity, respect, education and basic rights. They are subjected to harsh treatment by their authoritarian husbands, they are kept in a state of servitude, they are forced to dress in the burqa, which covers them from head to toe - even on sweltering summer days. They have no liberty. They can be beaten and abused with impunity at their husbands’ whim. Such is our understanding of the plight of women in Afghanistan.

Westerners in general, and especially Americans, find this deplorable. We, the champions of Human Rights, feel that this intolerable, primitive treatment of women must stop. Some women’s groups practically call for a new crusade to free these hapless women.

I find it peculiar that we have heard the unanimous opinions of so many politicians, feminist activists, church leaders, human rights watchdogs, and others. Everyone seems to find this cause especially appealing.

The only people whose opinions don’t seem to matter are the Afghans. I don’t just mean the Afghan men, but I also mean the Afghan women. Is there some slight chance that many of them may not be so unhappy? Is it realistic to assume that all women are treated as cruelly as we have heard? Are we allowing ourselves to just presume that all women are victimized and abused? Do we think that under every burqa there is an oppressed woman just bursting with desire of liberation? In their minds, what will they be liberated from? Liberated from their sacred religious beliefs? Liberated from their own way of life? Liberated from their traditions? Liberated from their families? Do we hear of Afghan women begging anyone to liberate them?

Perhaps these women envision themselves as the American businesswoman who takes orders from nobody. The kind of woman who has a glamorous career, who makes important decisions, who takes tranquilizers to get to sleep, who is educated, divorced, intelligent, depressed, childless, who has no stable love in her life, who needs to perform every day like an actress. Is that what you call a happy and fulfilling life? Hmmm maybe some women in American are really no better off than their Afghan counterparts.

Granted, there are Afghan women who have untraditional ambitions, such as First Lady Laura Bush’s example of the young woman who sheds her burqa in order to pursue a career of being a women’s rights lawyer. However, I am speaking not of the exception to the rule, but of the general rule.

The fact of the matter is that this has been the Afghan way of family life for centuries. In their culture, they know of nothing else. It isn’t realistic, and it definitely isn’t wise to believe we should impose our values and system on other peoples of such different religious and cultural values.