An urban legend usually begins something like this: “Did you hear about that old lady who tried to dry her poodle in the microwave. Yeah, it’s true because my sister told me it really happened to her friend’s grandma. The poor dog exploded!”

In this brief anecdote, all the elements of a successful urban legend are in place. There’s the claim of truth, the teller’s personal connection to the events of the story, and the horrible, ironic ending that contains a moral. (Don’t put pets in the microwave!) What makes it work is that it could possibly be true, and indeed, not all urban legends are fictions.

One of the most popular and well-known legends of this sort is the tale of the Choking Doberman. This one is true. The writer knows, because it happened to her dentist’s brother.

The Choking Doberman

As with all urban legends, there are many ways of telling the story, but in essence the events unfold like this: A man and his wife return home from an evening on the town to find their beloved Doberman choking to death on the floor of the sitting room. Although it’s late, they call their trusted vet who agrees to look at the dog. They drop the dog off at the surgery and head home to get some much needed sleep, but shortly after they climb into bed the phone rings.

“It must be important,” says the wife, “for someone to be calling at this hour.”

On the end of the line is the vet, sounding frantic. “I’ve found out what was choking your dog,” he says. “Get out of the house right now!”

As the couple exit the house, three squad cars race up the driveway and screech to a halt in front of them. “Where is he? Have you found him?” yells a grim looking policeman.

“Found who?” the husband asks, but the policemen dash inside and begin searching the property. A few minutes later they reappear with an ashen-faced man in handcuffs. “We’ve been looking for this psycho,” says one of them. “You folks were lucky. He was hiding in the bedroom closet.”

The couple look at the prisoner, who has blood all over his manacled hands. As he passes by them, the wife takes a closer look and lets out a scream. The prisoner is missing the middle finger on his left hand.

The story behind the story

The tale of the choking Doberman has been in circulation since the 1970’s at least, and variations on its wounded prisoner motif possibly date back to the Renaissance. The story gained popular currency in the early 1980’s when it was published (as true) in a number of newspapers. Folklorist Jan Harold Brunvand has also included it in several of his books.

The element of terror – a home intruder – is a common concern, especially for women living alone, and a popular variation has the dog belonging to a single woman, rather than a married couple. (Other variations of the tale feature a choking pitbull rather than a Doberman, or have the intruder escape only to be arrested because of his mangled digits.) The intruder’s unseen presence in the closet adds to the sense of violation as the bedroom is sacrosanct for many people. It is not the bitten off finger that makes the story scary; it is the homeowner’s narrow escape.

The Choking Doberman is a classic urban legend, and one that will remain popular so long as people have fears about their personal security and, yes, about big dogs.