Loch Ness Monster Leviathan Stars – No

Call me Thomas. Several years ago – before the last confirmed monster sighting (at which, by the way, I was present) – a fellow traveller described Nessie as having the aspect of a camel*. This he was quite entitled to do. Let me explain

To understand this curious camel/snake-like sea monster we must travel back in time, perhaps to the moment the tale of the Loch Ness Monster was first reported to a visiting Sassenach. We have to consider the possibility that, when faced with a studious, scientific boffin-type from England, our Scotsman, whilst hosting his visitor with some excellent malt, might just have been taking the proverbial p out of the good fellow.

Yarns of a giant sea snake-like beast lurking in the murky depths of the loch would have flowed as easily from the mouth as the amber liquid flowed into it. The English gentleman better keep a wary eye on his way home! Yet the Scotsman would hardly lie, for there is no craft in lying. Besides much more fun is to be had with the truth… if you are allowed to speak it. Which is where the nub of the matter lies.

So now we must retire even further into the annals history. Back to a time when free speech was not a right many would care to exercise. Those twin silencers – blasphemy and heresy – ensured that certain topics were out of bounds for centuries and this censorship, now hushed (up) and brushed (under the carpet), has left a significant legacy a void, in fact. Fancy being left a void! Yet I ask you ‘How can you know what you don’t know because countless generations before you couldn’t tell?’

While it might appear a rather spurious leap from sea monster to blasphemy it is, in fact, one small, venomous step, for this very monster was spotted a few thousand years ago. Then it went by the name of Leviathan and was described by my old mate Izzy (formerly known as Isaiah (27:1)) as ‘…the gliding serpent…the crooked serpent…the sea monster in the sea.’ The traditional image of Nessie is that of a huge, snake-like creature whose body hoops above the water (just like a camel? We’ll come to that). These two serpent monsters are one and the same, I know for I am there.

How can such a creature (and myself, for that matter) be so long-lived? The secret lies in the stars – those nighttime companions and entertainers – for Leviathan, the Loch Ness Monster and myself dwell in that heavenly realm, not here on earth. Ours is a body of astronomical knowledge that could not, for fear of ‘Heavenly’ reprisal, be openly passed down to you. Our world of stars and fantasy has been, and continues to be, deliberately obscured, for another story from the same stable is being touted as fact and you pay your tithes accordingly, if not willingly.

The great sea monster and a thousand similar nighttime pictures once provided your storytellers, your wordsmiths, with cartoon-style visuals. This spectacular cosmic art gallery, built-up over thousands of years, has been erased from your minds but, fortunately, not from the sky. Which brings me back to the camel.

Call me Thomas. Call me Twin. Call me Gemini. I am the hump. Auriga provides the head. Look again and look for the tail, for this is where the trick is played, as this tail transforms the ‘ship of the desert’ into a hooped-up serpent. The name of the tail is Hydra the Sea Snake. Search for the monster in May when these constellations lie to the north, perhaps even above a loch in Scotland.

*According to a BBC Radio 4 documentary on our subject.