We live in a superficial world, where books are judged based on their covers, and people are judged based on their appearances, every single day. But is that fair? Is that what truly matters? Does the outward appearance of a person, truly define and reflect upon the type of person that they actually are? Not always. That’s why, what’s on the inside, is what should always matter most.

Most people nowadays attempt to adopt a persona in order to fit into a specific “clique,” which, more often than not, ends up being the complete opposite of who they actually are. This reminds me of the Amanda Bynes movie “What A Girl Wants.” Upon meeting her father, she was thrown into a royal world, filled with balls, gowns and proper etiquette. This was a complete turnaround from the life she was used to living at home with her mother. Her love interest in the movie asks her the question, “Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?” Why, indeed. I still don’t have an answer to that question, because I would never attempt to fit into any category and sacrifice who I really am, by trying so hard to be someone that I’m not.

However, some people become so insecure because of unfair judgment passed on them based on their appearance, that they actually begin using their appearance as a tool to hide who they really are. That’s unnatural and the person they morph into ends up being quite unlikable to those outside their clique most of the time. We were all born the way we were for a reason. Granted, it may be a reason we don’t yet understand, but there is a reason and instead of trying to run from our differences and fit in with everyone else, we should embrace who we are. That will bring us that much closer to finding the answer, to why we are the way we are.

Superficiality is especially cruel in the workplace. Ideally, if you excel at what you do, that should be all that matters, right? Dress codes are fine, but a lot of the times it goes deeper than that. Sometimes, over-qualified potential employees are over-looked, because their appearance does not fit what the company is looking for. Frankly, they’re stereotyped. Think about it. Do you see men or women with tattoos adorning their arms in a high profile office? Sometimes, depending on the office, long hair isn’t even allowed if you’re a male. What about men or women with multiple, or “odd” piercings? Do you ever see slightly or even extremely over-weight people at the front desk of a modeling agency? What about an outward “girly girl” doing a “man’s job”? No, you don’t see any of that. People are over-looked for a job they are more than qualified for, based on their appearance, every day. Granted, some of these places may have some type of “image” to uphold, but that doesn’t make it right or fair.

Ultimately, the bottom line is, don’t speak too soon. You may end up eating your words later, when it’s already too late to take them back. Always bear in mind the saying, “Four things you can’t recover: The stone…after the throw. The word…after it’s said. The occasion…after it’s missed. The time…after it’s gone”. If you pass this judgment, you may never know if the person you’re judging on the outside, could very well have become your new best friend, had you just taken the time to get to know who they were on the inside.

If people don’t accept you for being exactly who you are, tell them to stop wasting their time and yours and move right along. It doesn’t matter if people don’t like you for it. Don’t live to please anyone but yourself. You live your life for yourself. Frankly, as Kurt Cobain from Nirvana once said, “I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not”. Before judging anyone, especially by outside appearances, without even knowing the person, we should always try walking a mile in the other person’s shoes.