There can be no doubt that most people in the world would like to be physically attractive. Many spend a great deal of time and money doing all they can to make their appearance appealing to others. For a lot it would have to be said that it’s an inordinate amount of time and money and that it is an obsession.

In these times this even includes surgical procedures to correct perceived faults in the face or body they have been given. There was a time not so long ago when only the rich and famous - or those with severe deformities, birthmarks and injuries would have any kind of cosmetic surgery. Now its becoming increasingly commonplace and people even go and have such treatments done during their lunch breaks.

What’s more, whereas it used to be almost exclusively women who obsessed about their appearance, now men are becoming increasingly concerned with body image. They even have a name for the type of male who pay a lot of attention to their physical appearance. They are metrosexuals.

Our society really does place way too much emphasis on body image. Yet there have never been so many overweight people in western society. Nor have there ever been so many different weight loss programs for the obese and those who just think they are too fat to spend lots of money on without necessarily getting anywhere in the long run. I doubt that people have ever been so consumed with body image and so miserable about their own appearance. This is taking its toll on our young people in particular - with too many young girls (and boys as well these days) developing self-destructive eating disorders.

Yet the fact is that, even though we all want to look good - and are all attracted to physical beauty, personality is by far the more valuable asset in life. No matter how beautiful a person is, if they don’t have a personality to match it, their looks won’t mean a great deal.

Of course most people would like to have both. But the percentage of people who are very physically attractive and have a great personality as well would probably be relatively low. There are some poor individuals who would have neither, of course. Then there are those who are very good-looking but have unpleasant, abrasive or boring personalities. The opposite are those who are very plain or even ugly but have wonderfully outgoing, humorous, friendly and/or warm, kind-hearted personalities. In between those extremes are those who are reasonably easy on the eye and pleasant enough to know as well. They probably make up the vast majority of the population. That’s a good place to be.

In the scheme of things, personality matters most for several reasons. One is that, no matter how good looking a person is, if they have a nasty, anti-social or just downright insipid personality, most people won’t want to be around them that much. Even if people are initially drawn to them because of their physical beauty, they won’t be inclined to hang around for long.

Of course there are those who know who to gush over in order to get what they want, but surely most of us would want to be more genuinely nice inside than that. I expect we have all known such people who are very good-looking and sickeningly nice to the people they want to impress, but treat others like dirt. We have probably had to deal with that type from the time we were at school. Such people may go a long way with worldly achievements. But essentially they are not really happy people and certainly not the type that go down in history for all the best, most positively memorable reasons.

People with genuinely pleasant, congenial and caring personalities are the ones who draw real friends around them like bees around a honey-pot. They are the ones who make day-to-day life worth living for those whose lives they touch. They are the ones whose lives are truly worthwhile and meaningful - even if they are vertically challenged, pudgy, have a big nose, ears that stick out, thin lips, warts, a double chin, blotchy skin, hair like straw, a muffin top, cellulite and various other undesirable physical attributes. They’re often the ones we want to really enjoy being around, desire to get to know better and invite to our parties. They represent what matters most in humanity. What’s more, once we get to know them and see the beauty shining from within, we often just don’t notice their undesirable physical features any more.

Physical beauty can be a very shallow, meaningless thing in isolation. What’s more, it is both unreliable and fleeting. It can be taken away in an instant if a person is involved in a terrible accident - and nobody is exempt from such random strikes of fate. Serious illness can target even the most physically beautiful person and destroy their looks too. Then the effects of age can take their own toll. Oh yes, people can have their plastic surgery and have their faces filled with botox, etc. But even that, when used to excess can actually make a person ugly. I guess we have all seen plastic surgery junkies on TV who keep going back for more and more treatment and just end up looking hideous. I’m not just talking about Michael Jackson either!

In actual fact a woman who grows old gracefully and has a beautiful personality that lights up her face from within is someone truly attractive. I have even known of people whose looks have improved with age. Undoubtedly part of the reason is that their inner character has developed over the years and glows through their physical features.

I would have to say that those who have the best personalities are the real winners in life from childhood through to old age. Even children who aren’t particularly pretty or cute will win plenty of friends at school if they are friendly, cheerful, outgoing and sociable - or even if they are a bit shy but have a warm aura about them.

When I was little I remember I always wanted to have long blonde hair. I didn’t consider myself to be pretty at all - and by the time I was ten years old I was the plumpest girl in my class. So I suffered my share of unkind taunts. There were certainly people who did consider I had a pretty face - but I wasn’t one of them.

I would look with envy at other girls who I did consider to have good looks and who seemed especially popular. I was never part of the “in crowd” either in primary/elementary or high school. But I related well to people of all ages, never lacked for friends and my childhood was happy.

There have been times in my life when I have felt on the fringe of things or even left out and painfully lonely. That’s partly because I have a shy side to my personality and, I believe, partly because I grew up as an only child - which made some social situations more difficult for me to deal with. I’m sure many people who are really quite well-adjusted though have times in their lives when they feel isolated.

In the big picture, however, I would consider I have a significant network of friends I’ve made down the years who mean a lot to me. I am quite a private person in many ways but I value my friends and I do have meaningful conversations with many people. I am possibly a pretty average sort of person in many ways.

Physically I have a few things I’m not happy with - my weight by far more than anything else. But some of my features are plenty good enough for me - and I think for those who have to look at me.

My personality may not win me a popularity contest - but for those who get to know me I think most would say I’m pleasant enough to be around. I remember when I was in my late teens I was talking with my pastor about my fear that I might never find somebody who would want to marry me. He said to me that I need not worry about that because I was somebody who people liked to be around. I have always remembered that as one of the nicest compliments anybody has ever paid me.

Surely that’s enough for most of us to be happy with in this life. We really shouldn’t spend too much time fretting over our appearance - because when we look back at the end of our lives it really won’t count compared to how well we related to those around us.

Having a model figure (or a “six-pack” if you’re a guy),lustrous hair, fulsome lips, perfectly straight, pearly-white teeth and a flawless complexion may all be very nice. A person with such features may turn heads and all eyes may be drawn to them in a crowded room. But in our lives it’s those whose personalities draw us to them that will win our deep abiding affection and esteem.