We have no choice but to judge by appearances. Appearance is, after all, the first thing to appear. Hence the term “first impression.” This is not to say that the first impression must be the lasting one, or that appearances may not be deceiving. It is simply something we begin with.

To form a judgement based on appearance is not to know a person by any means. It is merely a first judgement subject to confirmation. The confirmation will take much longer than a cursory glance. Getting to know a person well is an ongoing process.

Within a few days of meeting a person for the first time, there will already be a marked change in our first impression. More often than not we find ourselves to have been mistaken in our perception of the person.

The most common misconception people fall into is thinking someone to be conceited or reserved. Quite often this is the result of a person being too shy to open up immediately. It takes a while for such people to reveal themselves fully to new acquaintances.

There are numerous such instances where appearances turn out to be deceptive. And the character of a person is not something that’s written on their face or revealed by their dress or mannerism. Yet, having said that, the fact still remains that we do need to form some idea of a person.

There are some appearances that will put you right off a person, and nothing would convince you to try to know the person better. You might learn from a third person that the one who turns you off through appearance is actually a very nice person to know. But the effect of the appearance remains, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

What this means is, though first impressions can be wrong and appearances can be deceiving, they do carry some weight in the overall judgement of a person. A person may prove to be the most good-natured yet their appearance somehow puts you off from forming too close a relationship.

Rather than condoning prejudice, what I’m trying to say is that appearances do have an effect on the chemistry between people. This is how we become friends with some but remain passing acquaintances with others.

In saying this I do not mean things like weight, age, color or beauty should be the standards for judging people. I mean rather such things as style of dress, hair style, manner of speaking, etc. The overall character of a person includes their appearance because it says things about a person’s attitude to the way they present themselves to the world.

But, of course, when people object to being judged by appearance, they have other things in mind than what I’ve been talking about. The most objectionable appearances that people form judgements on are obviously color, physical handicap, weight, and age.

Generally, appearances can be split up into things that are due to nature, and thus something not within a person’s control, and things that are more due to fashion and manners, something that one can make an effort to remedy.

Society as a whole puts a high value on general appearance. Things like dressing to fit the occasion and speaking to suit the situation are cliches that still carry a lot of weight. And, like it or not, these are things that influence prospective employers.

Judging people by appearance may be wrong but it is something we all do to a certain extent, and I don’t think we can really help it. We continue to judge books by their cover, and we judge a car’s performance based on appearance, and the exterior of a house determines the overall impression.

What is important is that we be prepared to hold the judgement in check, and be prepared to adjust our judgement as we get to know the person better. In other words, the first impression should not be the last, and it shouldn’t close the doors to any further acquaintance or relation.

At the same time, being aware of these things should make us more self-aware. Every day we go out into the world, making a statement about ourselves by our appearance. Just as we judge others, those others are judging us. We, too, ought to try and make ourselves more presentable. If, that is, we care about other people’s opinion of us.