Among the personal values, sincerity stands out. Sincerity means other people can trust what a speaker or writer says, and the way he or she says it. Without sincerity, social intercourse breaks down, because people aren’t sure where they stand with one another.

Evidence of insincerity puts people off. They wonder if they are being mocked, teased, or told outright lies. Once trust in someone’s sincerity is gone, hope for genuine communication goes too. Some people actually use persistent obvious insincerity as a barrier to keep people at a distance.

According to Webster’s though, people who are sincere are genuine, honest, and free of duplicity. They are not hypocrites. Many would agree that some hypocrisy is necessary to get along in the everyday world, but hypocrisy with intimates ruins relationships.

Being genuine means showing others the real material of our character, even if it is common base metal, rather than the shiny rhodium plating we wear for daily purposes. A genuine person will find that others share their authentic self as well. Of course, some people cannot share their authentic self because they are not in touch with it.

Therefore, one path to sincerity begins with the step of self-knowledge. Many spiritual seekers spend years looking for their core beliefs, so they can act as who they truly are. A shortcut to sincerity, on the other hand, is surprise. Anyone’s reaction to a grasshopper in their salad is likely to be sincere.

Sincerity means being who we are, with all our faults. It is sincerity that lets other people truly get to know us. In exchange, they let us know them.

Sincerity isn’t chic, though. Irony, sarcasm, and bland insincerity have much more social currency. However, sincerity is a virtue for the long run. Sincerity, if it does not run over into an excessively earnest lecture, draws answering sincerity, and builds true bonds.

Just as people often write Dear at the beginnings of letters that are not addressed to their near and dear, so people often close with Sincerely. As an insincere social convention, the word should really be replaced with a set of symbols that signify something like, “There, my boring duty note is done.”

Appended to a proper letter, the word should serve as a reminder to say something to a friend or relative that touches, however lightly, on something that the writer actually feels. Notes, when someone takes the trouble to write them, are not really matters of duty, after all. Every letter should have a message, and that message should be sincere.