Every parent wants his children to have all the things he lacked when he was a child. To give all these things to their children, some parents spend long hours at work to earn the money needed to buy these things. Before long, it appears that money is the most important thing in life. While it is true that some children come to believe that money is the most important thing, the majority just desire the personal attention they are starving to receive from their parents.

Children have a way of making parents feel guilty for not providing them with the latest fashions, technology and entertainment. Mothers and fathers try to give their children what they believe is needed for them to succeed in life, but it is not the material possessions that determine success or failure. It is the basic core values that determine which child grows up to be a success.

Money is a poor substitute for the time necessary to ingrain honesty, integrity, good work ethics and social skills that children must learn to survive and succeed in life. When a child grows up and is own her own, it won’t matter whether she had the Holiday Barbie or he had the latest technology toy, it will be the life skills she and he learned from parents.

Children do need the basic elements of home, food, clothes and protection, but it is not necessary for them to have the largest home, the latest in fashion, expensive food and personal body guards. Love is the most important element that holds a family together and gives each member the strength to overcome any diversity. As long as a husband, wife and children feel the love each has for the other, they will have the strongest weapon against poverty. Great wealth has never been the glue that holds marriages together, thus keeping families intact.

Satan knows that the destruction of families leads more children to drugs, alcohol, sex and suicide. Money can’t solve these problems. Children must grow up with a firm foundation of love and with time spent in the presence of their parents or care-givers. It is far more valuable for a mother to be available as a room-mother for her child’s second-grade classroom than to have enough money to buy each student a personalized cupcake from the most expensive bakery in town.

Children need to know how to care for themselves, how to be good sports when they lose, that honesty makes a person feel good about himself and that being on time when you have given your word is more valuable than a pound of gold. A wife needs reassurance that her husband still loves her and values her as an asset to the family. A husband wants to know he is appreciated and loved for who he is and not for how much money he earns. It takes each family member being engaged with one another for the family to remain intact through the years.

Money is important to the extent that it is necessary to provide shelter, food and clothes for a family, but not more important than the family itself. A job that pay $500,000 a year, but requires a father to be gone months at a time when his children are growing up is not worth the joy of bonding he will miss. It certainly isn’t worth the sadness or insecurity it could cause his children.

If a mom works long hours trying to further her career and misses the first steps of her baby and her first words, she has missed something that no one can put a price on. Money can’t buy back time. Either the career is more important or the child is most important. If a good balance can be found, leaving enough time to spend bonding with a child and teaching him about love, respect and integrity, then it may work. Otherwise, put family first.

Bonding helps give a child a feeling of self-worth and high self-esteem. The child understands her place in the family, making the family’s time spent together a joyful event. Money isn’t always necessary to have a good time together as a family. Going to the beach or to the river to swim together costs very little, but may be a child’s fondest memory. A child will forget that he did not have a dollar to buy a coke that day, but he will never forget that his dad taught him to swim that day.

A wise mother once said that, “If you spend the time raising your children with your love and your presence, you will not have to spend more time raising them the second time.” In other words, teach children the skills and values needed to obtain a good job, treat others with respect and to obey the law and you will not have to bail them out of jail, let them return home because they can not keep a job or because they can’t maintain a relationship of their own..

When money becomes more important than family, make sure there is enough money to buy companionship, help with endeavors, and to rent people to fill in the holes that family members would have filled if you had been there for them.