It is first important to note, that not all people are capable of carrying on relationships that involve intimacy with others, while in an existing, committed relationship. For millions, it is hard to understand the mindset of committed individuals, enjoying sexual activities with others, outside of their relationship. For Swingers and Lifestylers, it is in some cases, equally hard to understand how and why everyone can’t enjoy the, “Benefits” they themselves enjoy.

Swinging is defined as, “A non-monogamous sexual activity experienced as a couple.” Although history reveals that this is not a recent phenomena confined to America, “Ancient Rome being the most notable example,” I will speak to the modern American context of the activity.

According to Terry Gould’s “The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers,” swinging began among U.S. Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II. In this small community, the mortality rate among pilots was significantly high. Gould reports that a close bond between pilots arose, with the implication that the husbands would protect and care for all the wives as their own, both emotionally and sexually, if the husbands were away or lost.

Today swinging has grown in popularity, and has spread from coast to coast. The variety of individuals who populate this community cross all economic, cultural and racial boundaries. There is no stereotype to associate with any given segment of this community that is distinguishable to the naked eye. I have personally met and spoken with people who are Lawyers, Doctors, Construction workers, and several other trades and professions. In short, they are average, everyday people who all seem to have one trait in common, they view their relationships as loving, caring and open.

There seems to be a difference in the two terms, even though many people tend to view the two as one in the same. It is true, however, that a Lifestyler swings, and a Swinger is in the Lifestyle community. It is my hope to separate one from the other as a beginning to several other excerpts I plan to publish.
The Lifestyle, (noun/adjective), describes the community to which a Swinger belongs. It gives swingers a descriptive community by which they can associate themselves. The Lifestyle is the community.

Swingers are the people who make up the Lifestyle Community. Among the swinger community several mindsets exist, which dictate the manner in which they interact with others in the community.

After several hundred conversations with people who make up the, “Lifestyle Community,” I have noticed a distinction between Swingers and Lifestylers. These terms are sparingly used in the community, because, meeting new and interesting people is the goal, and many don’t want to limit their field by applying the term to themselves. A Lifestyler’s primary focus or interests lie in meeting like minded people to form friendships that may or may not lead to intimacy. But friendship is the primary focus.

Swingers however seem to put a higher emphasis on the intimacy aspect, and friendships develop into such, with each successive intimate encounter. Once formed, these friendships are no less significant than a Lifestylers’, but with swingers, they seem more willing to become intimate sooner than the Lifestyler.