The moment we begin our day, we are forced to make decisions on how we handle what happens to us. The choice to react positively or negatively to situations will determine whether we are open to live a fulfilled and happy existance or if we’ll just simply exist. Maintaining a positive outlook is not easy, it is a life long learning process. Nothing of worth can be learned or mastered instantly, but a few pointers and guidelines can start you in the right direction.

1 VIEW OTHERS SUBJECTIVELY

Running has always been one of my passions, ever since I was five. I watched my older brother and dad circle around the cinder track about a mile from our old house almost every day. I would make myself as comfortable as I could on the aluminum bleachers and imagine myself racing around that track and leaving the my brother and father in my dust. One day, as the two were well into their routine, I edged out onto the track, pretending to be interested in the little black rocks that it was made of. When I got comfortable enough to think no one was paying attention, I started to do a little walk-run around the outskirts of the track. As I felt more at ease it turned into a jog, then a moderate pace into a full on sprint until I was gasping for air and my sides were aching. A little later that year my dad decided to enroll me in track meets that were held through an athletic association every Saturday. My love of running continued through high school and beyond.

I moved to a new neighborhood when I was sixteen. Anxious to check out the area, I decided “what better way to learn the layout here than to take a little run?”. Four blocks into my run lead me to a moderately busy road to run alongside. It was only minutes into my run along that road before I heard the first “yeah, babyyy!” crudely yelled out of a passing car. After several more comments of the same manner were hurled at me, I figured it was time to turn and head home. As soon as I got there, I ran upstairs to the bathroom mirror to look at myself. My underwear weren’t hanging out of my shorts and there didn’t appear to be any potentially embarrassing holes in my shirt that I overlooked. What was wrong with these people? I wonder what they would’ve thought if they knew I was only sixteen. I loved playing with my two younger brothers and playing piano and sang in our church’s choir. For the first time no one looked at that, they saw an object. I couldn’t have felt more degraded. When someone snickers to themselves as a large person walks by or yells obscenities at someone who cuts them off in traffic they should think about who that person may be instead of making a crude judgement on outward appearance.

2. AVOID ACTING NEGATIVITY

Avoid talking about people in a negative manner. Try to avoid people who do so and if being near them is unavoidable (gossip at work, family member), simply do not partake in it. For example, a co-worker may feel the need to let you know how unflattering another co-worker looks in what they are wearing. You can respond by saying what that person may look good in. Also avoid complaining. As much as you may not like what’s going on around you, it’s probably just as unpleasant for the other party to hear about it. Offering a suggestion to correct the source of your discontent is a more positive and mature way to handle the situation.

I reigned as the queen of malicious comments on the 11th floor of my building at work. In the midst of one of my brutal critiques, a co-worker came up to me and said, “you know, I bet you can’t go one day without saying something negative”. I laughed him off and went about my business but attempted it the next day. I failed miserably. It’s much harder that it seems and I didn’t realize how negative I was until I actually tried to stop doing it. I then took it a step further and replaced my negative comments and actions with positive ones. People appreciated my willingness to help out positive attitude more than my snide comments. It wasn’t an instant change, trust me. It took months for me to get into a positive frame of mind and once I did, it was much easier to tune out the rest of the negativity around me.

3. THINK BEFORE YOU ACT

Countless times I’ve heard people wish they can take something they’ve said or done back. This is mainly because they didn’t think about the consequences of their actions before they said or did something. When a potentially upsetting situation occurs, avoid your inital reaction and excuse yourself from the situation. Think about all avenues of approach that could be taken and their consequences. Doing this gives you an opportunity to remove yourself from anything that could further aggravate your mood and let’s you cool down. Once you’ve established a course of action for yourself, re-approach the situation (if necessary) with a clear head and stable train of thought. Although a reckless approach would seem more gratifying at the time, you will see that taking a more positive course of action is much more beneficial.

4. FIND AN OUTLET TO VENT

Not everyone can be happy and positive all the time, life sees to that. We can, however, find more positive ways to handle tough times. If a person is the source of my discontent, I write them a letter. They never see it, but it feels great to get what you want to say out to the person without venting your anger on them directly. If it’s something that still needs to be discussed, you may find it much easier to get your point across without unstable emotions if you get those out beforehand. Writing in a journal and running are two ways to vent my frustrations. Picking up a hobby is another good positive outlet. Find what works for you!

5. APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE

We all make the mistake of taking the things in our life for granted until we don’t have them anymore. It seems as though everything has a higher value to you once you don’t have access to it. Why not value it just as much when you do have it? Our family lost a lot in the past several months and it was a tough pill to swallow when we had to make unpreferable adjustments. As generic as it may sound, we still have our family. We’re healthy, have a roof over our heads and food to eat. Although we were sad to see it go, everything that was lost can be replaced in time. We are fortunate in that way. If it’s getting off of work early or spending extra time with someone you love, appreciate it.

Living with a positive outlook will gradually change your life for the better. As stated before, nothing is mastered overnight, but a willingness to make an effort and stick with it will go a long way.