Emotional integrity transports the standards of honesty and moral character to an even higher level. Integrity dictates that one act honorably in dealings with others; emotional integrity refers to thoughts and motivations in relationships and social encounters.

It is not enough to exhibit moral behavior. You want to be careful to do so without a self-righteous attitude; without justification or defense. If your mind and heart align in your intention, then you can rest assured you are acting with emotional integrity.

Occasionally you will hear the lament, “I had reservations in my mind, but in my heart I felt it was the right thing to do.” When you are acting honestly, with love as motivation and with no underlying personal agenda, then your heart and mind will be in accord and your emotional integrity will remain intact.

You are not acting with emotional integrity if you preface your actions with the following thoughts:

• “Everyone else is doing it”
• “What will others think of me”
• “I just want to keep peace”
• “I’d better keep my opinions to myself”

There are two necessary components to living with emotional integrity: You must be honest with yourself and others, and you must own your feelings.

Self honesty

Before you can be honest with others, you must look inside and be totally honest with yourself. By practicing self-awareness you can determine if you are compromising your values, deluding yourself about your motivation or in any other way burying your true feelings and beliefs.

When you are in a committed relationship, emotional integrity is imperative. It is not sufficient to say or do something just to please your significant other. Neither is it prudent to hide your anger or disappointment to keep peace. It takes courage to navigate the emotional challenges of merging your life with another human being, but emotional integrity demands that you take all the steps involved to insure your relationship is open and close with honesty at its core.

Owning your feelings

With emotional integrity there is no “blame game.” You do not qualify your behavior with explanations or rationalizations. Self-acceptance is at the root of owning your feelings, and it is only when you truly accept and love yourself that you can begin to exhibit and experience unconditional love with others.

The same characteristics of emotional integrity that you practice in your relationships can be applied to your encounters with the world at large. Whatever you think, say or do in your business and social encounters should be motivated by a loving and generous spirit. Having the courage and honesty to reveal yourself and express your true beliefs and values, with no qualifying reservations, will insure that you are consistently behaving with emotional integrity.

You will want to practice:

• Compassion (empathy and sympathy)
• Respect (for ourselves and others)
• Gender equality attitudes (fairness without bias)
• Honesty (an aligned heart and mind)

Striving to live with emotional integrity enables you to thrive and enjoy your relationships and encounters with others minus reservations. It is the only approach to a fulfilling life.