One of the most complex of all human emotions is love and trying to sort out all of those complexities can be a genuine challenge. The challenge arises from the general understanding of what love is and what it is not. Love is often understood to be an emotion or a feeling that is beyond the control of a person.

The most common expression of this thinking is that people fall in love. The problem with the notion that love is simply a feeling is that feelings are fickle and people can then fall out of love. Love must be more than some form of emotion or feeling.

Love is a matter of choice

Love is more than just a complex emotion; it is a matter of personal choice. Just like every other behavior that we exhibit, it is a matter of personal choice. Love must be a matter of choice. Each day we choose who and how we love other people. Not only do we choose who we love but also the manner of how we love them.

Love is a matter of conduct

How do we treat those we claim to love? The question is simple but the answer is not. Often those who are closest to us see us at our best and our worst. Our behavior speaks volumes about the reality of our willingness to love others. If love were merely an emotion, we would have little choice in the matter. Love reveals itself in the way we behave on a daily basis.

Love is a matter of commitment

Behaving in a loving manner towards others is a commitment. We commit to love others even when we may not feel like loving them. There are days when we might not feel like loving our spouse or other people. We can still make the choice to love them. Love is action and it is the essence of personal choices.

Love is a matter of personal choice; we choose who we will love through our actions, and our attitudes. Love is a matter of conduct, how we behave determines the level that we love other people. Love does involve emotion and characteristics such as compassion. There are feelings involved toward those we love but in the end love is shown through our choices. Can someone choose who they love? The answer is simply yes and the fact is that we choose each day who we are going to love.