Having ‘Come Of Age’ myself in the Hippy, Anti-War Counter Culture of the 1960s-70s, I can identify parallels to today’s Emo Counter Culture.  The Hippies were all about “Dropping Out” of society.  Most kids just picked and chose elements they wanted, like the pretty paisley dresses and tie-dyed shirts.  Or got hooked on the great rock music that came out of that Era.  The full-fledged, hardcore Hippies mostly hit bottom with drugs and sexual experimentation.  And we first learned the true dangers of Cults through the Manson Murders.

The Emos today strike me as similar to the Hippies.  They feel misunderstood, and thus “special”.  Their dour attitude and all-black fashion speaks to them as “outsiders-embracing-other-outsiders”.  Instead of the energy and carefree attitude of the Hippy Movement, the Emos want to wallow in their sadness and all-is-lost attitude. 

Some people even say they totally lack emotions.  Even though the term Emo is shorthand for Emotional.  But I’d say they have very sensitive emotions, and seek out other Emos for a sense of “being understood and belonging”.

As with all Counter Culture Movements, there are various reasons kids become Emos, and basically “drop out of society”.  Like the Hippies, they are rejecting “The Norm”, and are searching for a redefinition that is more meaningful to them.  Also like the Hippies, they embrace music with sensitive, emotional lyrics that “speak” to them on a deep, visceral  level.

HISTORY

Emos started out in the 1980s in Washington D.C., when kids got tired of the meaningless noise of the hardcore Metal and Punk Rock bands.  Screechingly-loud music has always been an emotional vent, like playing video games.  But these more sensitive kids started embracing quirky counter-culture bands playing songs with better, more sensitive lyrics. 

Embracing these strained, over-wrought lyrics gave these kids some solace.  Especially since many of these kids came from dysfunctional homes, and wanted desperately to find something meaningful, stable and safe in their existence.  Their “don’t care” attitude and all-black fashion, may counter the confusion and turmoil inside them.  Sometimes just “shutting down” is the only way to “shut out the pain”.

TODAY

Emos today have splintered into different factions, and much of the music has gone mainstream.  The hardcore Emos still wear all-black, and cling to their “sad, don’t care” attitude.  In reality they DO care passionately about something - the Emo lifestyle and music.

As with most Counter Culture Movements that hit the mainstream, there are a lot of kids who just pick and choose what they want from the Emo Culture.  Some kids like getting attention or rebelling by wearing all black, but that’s all.  Other happier kids are called “Camera Emos” or “Poser Emos”, since they are only “sad” in front of a camera or when adopting the Emo Pose.  There are also variants called Plastic Emos, Emo Goths and Emo Skaters. 

There’s no harm in well adjusted kids wanting to occasionally dabble in the Emo Culture.  Although angry or rejecting parents may drive their occasional-Emo kid into a hardcore-Emo just to rebel.

DANGERS

As alluded to earlier, some hardcore Emos are deeply disturbed kids trying to escape the pain of dysfunctional homes, uncaring parents, abuse or molestation.  These kids embrace the “shutting down against pain” aspect of the Emos’ sadness.  To them, “sadness’ - or their powerlessness to change their difficult and dangerous environment, - is very real.  And in one sense, A Cry For Help.

One Emo saying is “My grass is so emo, it cuts itself.”  This highlights the self-cutting behavior of some Emos.  Feeling powerless to change their difficult home or other environment, their immature thinking leads them to think that everything is their fault, and thus they are bad and unworthy.  So they self-mutilate to “punish” themselves for their mythical “badness”.

UNDERSTANDING

Instead of rejecting or verbally-attacking the Emo child, parents and teachers need to dig a little deeper.  Is your occasional-Emo kid just “trying on” the trappings of the Emos, as he/she works to carve out their own identity?  Is your Emo kid basically drawn to one powerful aspect of the Emo Counter Culture, thinking that one aspect can only be found in the Emo Culture? 

For these occasional or casual Emo kids, parents can trying steering them in other, healthier directions.  If they embrace more sensitive, personal rock lyrics, introduce them to more mainstream bands with great lyrics.  Or take them to the Poetry Section of their school library or bookstore.  Encourage them to write their own poetry or lyrics, and treat everthing they write with respect and praise.  Especially since these poems/lyrics can be windows into their Souls.

As far as their “fashion statement” wearing all-black, try encouraging them to add more colorful items to their dress.  Like colorful earrings or fingernail polish for Emo girls.  For Emo boys, get them colorful shoes or belts.  Maybe a hand-me-down article of clothing or jewelry from a deceased and beloved grandparent can do the trick, to encourage them to come out of their all-black cocoon.

If you have a hardcore Emo who mopes around all the time, and doesn’t seem to be interested in anything non-Emo, parents and teachers need to establish if this lifestyle is just somewhere to hide from very real pain caused by their home or environment.  Professional counseling may be required, if a disturbed Emo child won’t open up to parents or teachers about the source of their inner pain and turmoil.

Lastly, confused parents and teaches can jump on the internet to educate themselves.   luv-emo.com and emo-fever.com are a few sites dedicated to All Things Emo.