Accepting being Single and being Happy with it
Couples are everywhere; from TV to films to magazines and celebrities. There is not one film I can think of that does not have some aspect of love or couples. Everyone is pushing us into pairs, partnerships and couples. Even out the other night my friend was asking if there was any ‘fella’. Why does there always have to be a ‘fella’? Why is it so socially unacceptable to be on your own? Even when I was in sixth year buying debs tickets there was no thought of buying just one, it just wasn’t an option. We evolved from apes millions of years ago so it is clear from watching apes now that we have been doing this couple thing for centuries, but why? Why is everyone so desperate to find a partner? Is it not possible for us to be happy on our own?
All that said and done, I am ashamed to admit that The Couple Bug got me. I wanted to be part of one too. I could barely believe it myself as I have had front row seats to the earlier independent, cynical years of my life but here I was; nineteen years old, living on my own for the first time and I wanted to be part of a couple.
It all started with me feeling lonely. I have felt like that so many times this year and it’s just a rotten feeling! I had nothing to do and no one to do it with and from that stemmed my need for a significant other that would hang out and do nothing with me.
Recently a friend of mine said “What’s wrong with hanging out on your own?” and he’s right, what is wrong with it? Other then society not agreeing—everywhere you go there are tables for two, meals for two, sauces for two. Whereas in reality there is only one person in this world who knows what you want to do and when, who knows what you’re like and who won’t get mad at you for it. Someone who’s always looking out for number one—you and I don’t mean it in a cynical “couples are bad, don’t date” type of way, I mean it in a “Don’t get down because your on your own and don’t let society dictate that you should be in a couple” type of way.
My research on this subject has led me to believe that most people, when they first leave home (whether you live ten minutes or ten hours from home) get lonely and have those horrible, rotten days. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s anyway to avoid these so for the moment you’re just going to have to grin and bear it and maybe as you get older it will get easier and if not there’s always society there to convince you couple-dom is the way to go.
But for now, spend a day on your own; be it shopping, swimming or wandering around South County Dublin listening to music and visiting old haunts. You don’t have to have other people to enjoy yourself and even if I still haven’t convinced you it won’t do you any harm to spend time with yourself.
