Adaptation and Integration

This is the prison where the two Australian drug smugglers were hanged.

Out guide/driver a very pleasant and knowledgeable man gave us this information. It seemed some kind of response was required. There actually were no Australians on the bus, but as my husband and I live in Australia, it seemed the comment was directed at us. Anyway, the others on the tour, a young English couple and a middle aged South African Lady, were looking away.

So I said I’m against death penalty, always have been, always will be. I’m equally strongly against drug trafficking. It is well known that in Malaysia drug trafficking is punishable by the death penalty; those two unfortunately took the risk.’
Our guide seemed satisfied with this and made no further comments.

In many ways, that exchange contains for me the essence of the challenges one faces in trying to live successfully in a different culture.

How to hold on to ones own values and express them in a different culture?

How to allow others their values?

How not to try imposing your values on others?

How to decide what cultural practices should not be tolerated?

The position of women in society is often a major issue in multicultural relations.

I was born and grew up in Finland. I found the position of women both in England in Australia far behind compared to Finland. If you don’t believe me, have look at UN figures on the subject. But, in an open and free society, it is possible for a woman to achieve her goals, more or less.

What I didn’t anticipate is that I would find it a challenge also to allow others to follow their cultural habits.

For example: I worked with a young woman of Burmese descent. She told me that she had invited a mutual colleague (of Italian descent!) to dinner in her home. Our Italian colleague had been surprised to find that in the young household the Burmese custom was followed, the men eat first and if they are not ready to eat for hours, the women wait until the men have eaten.

And you do that in your house, I exclaimed. What I meant of course, was You who were born in Australia, how can you do that voluntarily?’ Women’s position and all that. Fortunately, I remembered that she knew all that and lives the way she wants to.

As for cultural practices that must not be tolerated, think no further than the so-called honour killings’, that have taken place in Great Britain, and also in Sweden. Young women have been murdered for not obeying the family in the questions of marriage or life style.

Adaptations and integration are very complicated questions indeed, and I am still learning.